Five Tips for Spotting an Undercover Cop

Discussion in 'Java' started by Zonker Bill, Apr 24, 2011.

  1. Zonker Bill

    Zonker Bill Guest

    Five Tips for Spotting an Undercover Cop

    http://tinyurl.com/3fj6pfv

    Posted 4/20/2011 at 9:00 am by Adam Tod Brown

    Please forgive us if our short term memory is a little lacking, but we
    could swear we looked at the calendar this morning and noticed that
    today is 4/20. Also, we could swear we looked at the calendar this
    morning and noticed that today is 4/20.

    Weed smokers of the world rejoice, it’s a celebration! As you bask in
    the glow of copious amounts of weed consumption today, as always, make
    sure to do so responsibly. We don’t mean “responsibly” in the “drink
    too much booze and you’ll wind up in a coma” sense. That’s not really
    a problem with the weed. Smoke too much and the worst that will happen
    is you’ll devour an entire large pizza and fall asleep for the night
    by 8pm. What we’re referring to, of course, are police.

    Nothing kills a good buzz like an undercover cop with too much time on
    their hands striking up a conversation with you out of the blue about
    what you’re smoking. So keep your glassy eyes peeled, and use these
    handy tips for spotting an undercover cop while you celebrate 4/20
    today.

    Check Out the Car

    In a perfect world, all police would be required to drive around in
    1992 Crown Victorias with gigantic antennas and a visible gun rack in
    the back seat. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. These days,
    undercover cops are tooling around in anything from minivans to
    Mustangs. So how do you spot a car that’s outfitted for the sole
    purpose of harshing your mellow?

    Fortunately, police need lots of special equipment in their cruisers
    to do their jobs effectively. If you look hard enough, you can see it.
    AOL, of all places, has a great guide to spotting undercover cop cars
    on their auto blog. Here are some highlights:

    On unmarked cars, lights are often placed in the grill, front
    windshield and exterior mirrors. Even if they aren’t turned on, you
    should be able to see them provided there is a sufficient amount of
    light.

    Look for stubby police antennas on the trunk lid and more lights in
    the rear windshield.

    Each state has special license plates that are issued to government
    workers. Learn yours. If you see it on the car that’s pulling up to
    the spot where you’re lighting up, swallow that weed like a
    professional. [PHOTO]

    Pay Attention to Details

    Here’s the thing about undercover cops…they’re really good at blending
    in with the environment they’re in. Anyone who’s ever been enjoying a
    joint on a park bench only to have a guy in flip-flops and a Hawaiian
    shirt flashing a badge in their face out of the blue will surely
    attest to that.

    But everybody makes mistakes, police are no different. Does that shady
    weed dealer at your local park with the three day facial hair growth,
    unkempt hair and filthy clothes also have impeccably manicured
    fingernails? Is he wearing a beat to shit army jacket and four hundred
    dollar Armani jeans? If so, you probably shouldn’t buy your weed from
    him.

    Actually, you shouldn’t just walk up to anyone you don’t know and try
    to buy drugs from them. But if it’s come to that, at least watch for
    those little inconsistencies that might indicate that they aren’t who
    they say they are.

    Don’t Bother Asking

    There’s a popular myth that claims if you ask an undercover cop if
    they’re a cop, they have to tell you if they are. Not true, says Barry
    Cooper, a former undercover cop who came around to the good side and
    now gets paid to tell people how to spot and avoid being busted by
    undercover cops.

    In fact, he says this misconception actually helps law enforcement:

    Many times as an undercover, suspects would ask if I were a cop and
    explain I must tell if I were. I would respond, “No. I’m not a cop and
    you are correct. I would have to tell you if I were.” The suspects
    were always comfortable with this answer and would sometimes comment
    on how cool the “must tell” law was.

    So that’s a bummer. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t mention the
    police at all if you think an undercover is in your midst…

    Did You Hear the News?

    Did the police make a significant bust in your area recently? If so,
    mention it. Undercover cops are trained to stay relaxed in high
    pressure situations, but by bringing up some especially noteworthy
    piece of police news, you’ve just entered something into the mix that
    normally isn’t present…their ego. Try mentioning that you don’t see
    what the big deal is about the bust that was all over the news last
    week and then, just like in poker, wait for the tell.

    Nobody likes to have their pride injured, and that’s exactly what
    you’re doing. If the guy hoping to sell you a pound of kush suddenly
    snaps at you about how that bust was a HUGE deal, you’re probably
    dealing with a cop. Watch for any reaction that strikes you as out of
    the ordinary. If your gut is telling you to flee the scene, do it.

    Hits From the Bong

    This tidbit is especially for the dealers out there, and once again,
    it comes from former undercover agent Barry Cooper. If you suspect
    that the person you’re selling to is a cop, offer them a bong hit. Not
    a joint, not a blunt, not a hitter…a bong hit.

    Why? Because undercover cops are strictly prohibited from actually
    partaking in drugs while in the field. Some are even tested
    immediately after returning from their crime fighting missions. That
    said, they are trained to hit a joint or some other lightweight toking
    apparatus without taking any smoke into their lungs. They just pass it
    through their nose and back out into the air. What a waste!

    But anyone who knows anything knows that hitting a bong without using
    your lungs is literally impossible. No respectable drug purchaser is
    going to pass on the opportunity to sample what you’re selling prior
    to paying for it, be it in a joint, a bong or a hollowed out apple. If
    you offer up your intricately handcrafted, dragon shaped bong and they
    refuse, something is amiss. Tell them to kick rocks and live to sell
    the good stuff another day.
     
    Zonker Bill, Apr 24, 2011
    #1
    1. Advertising

  2. Zonker Bill

    thinbluemime Guest

    On Sun, 24 Apr 2011 16:43:50 -0400, Captain Infinity
    <> wrote:

    > Once Upon A Time,
    > Zonker Bill wrote:
    >
    >> Five Tips for Spotting an Undercover Cop
    >>
    >> http://tinyurl.com/3fj6pfv
    >>
    >> Posted 4/20/2011 at 9:00 am by Adam Tod Brown



    > Hey, great article! Now tell us how to commit rape and arson and get
    > away
    > with it. I love getting away with illegal things!
    >
    >
    > **
    > Captain Infinity



    Put a gun barrel up yer bung hole and pull the trigger. Feel better now?
    LOL



    --
    fire in the hole
     
    thinbluemime, Apr 24, 2011
    #2
    1. Advertising

  3. Zonker Bill

    Deeyana Guest

    On Sun, 24 Apr 2011 13:25:56 -0700, Zonker Bill wrote:

    > Please forgive us if our short term memory is a little lacking, but we
    > could swear we looked at the calendar this morning and noticed that
    > today is 4/20. Also, we could swear we looked at the calendar this
    > morning and noticed that today is 4/20.


    Classic illogic. The headers on your post indicate it was sent on 4/24,
    Zonker Bill.

    > Weed smokers of the world rejoice, it’s a celebration!


    What does your celebration have to do with Java, current films, or
    television, Zonker Bill?

    > As you bask in the glow of copious amounts of weed consumption today,
    > as always, make sure to do so responsibly.


    What does your drug habit have to do with Java, current films, or
    television, Zonker Bill?

    > We don’t mean “responsibly†in the “drink too much booze and you’ll
    > wind up in a coma†sense. That’s not really a problem with the weed.


    What does your classic unsubstantiated and erroneous claim have to do
    with Java, current films, or television, Zonker Bill?

    > Smoke too much and the worst that will happen is you’ll devour an
    > entire large pizza and fall asleep for the night by 8pm.


    What does your classic unsubstantiated and erroneous claim have to do
    with Java, current films, or television, Zonker Bill?

    > What we’re referring to, of course, are police.
    >
    > Nothing kills a good buzz like an undercover cop with too much time on
    > their hands striking up a conversation with you out of the blue about
    > what you’re smoking. So keep your glassy eyes peeled, and use these
    > handy tips for spotting an undercover cop while you celebrate 4/20
    > today.
    >
    > Check Out the Car
    >
    > In a perfect world, all police would be required to drive around in 1992
    > Crown Victorias with gigantic antennas and a visible gun rack in the
    > back seat. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. These days, undercover
    > cops are tooling around in anything from minivans to Mustangs. So how do
    > you spot a car that’s outfitted for the sole purpose of harshing your
    > mellow?
    >
    > Fortunately, police need lots of special equipment in their cruisers to
    > do their jobs effectively. If you look hard enough, you can see it. AOL,
    > of all places, has a great guide to spotting undercover cop cars on
    > their auto blog. Here are some highlights:
    >
    > On unmarked cars, lights are often placed in the grill, front windshield
    > and exterior mirrors. Even if they aren’t turned on, you should be able
    > to see them provided there is a sufficient amount of light.
    >
    > Look for stubby police antennas on the trunk lid and more lights in the
    > rear windshield.
    >
    > Each state has special license plates that are issued to government
    > workers. Learn yours. If you see it on the car that’s pulling up to the
    > spot where you’re lighting up, swallow that weed like a professional.
    > [PHOTO]
    >
    > Pay Attention to Details
    >
    > Here’s the thing about undercover cops…they’re really good at blending
    > in with the environment they’re in. Anyone who’s ever been enjoying a
    > joint on a park bench only to have a guy in flip-flops and a Hawaiian
    > shirt flashing a badge in their face out of the blue will surely attest
    > to that.
    >
    > But everybody makes mistakes, police are no different. Does that shady
    > weed dealer at your local park with the three day facial hair growth,
    > unkempt hair and filthy clothes also have impeccably manicured
    > fingernails? Is he wearing a beat to shit army jacket and four hundred
    > dollar Armani jeans? If so, you probably shouldn’t buy your weed from
    > him.
    >
    > Actually, you shouldn’t just walk up to anyone you don’t know and try to
    > buy drugs from them. But if it’s come to that, at least watch for those
    > little inconsistencies that might indicate that they aren’t who they say
    > they are.
    >
    > Don’t Bother Asking
    >
    > There’s a popular myth that claims if you ask an undercover cop if
    > they’re a cop, they have to tell you if they are. Not true, says Barry
    > Cooper, a former undercover cop who came around to the good side and now
    > gets paid to tell people how to spot and avoid being busted by
    > undercover cops.
    >
    > In fact, he says this misconception actually helps law enforcement:
    >
    > Many times as an undercover, suspects would ask if I were a cop and
    > explain I must tell if I were. I would respond, “No. I’m not a cop and
    > you are correct. I would have to tell you if I were.†The suspects were
    > always comfortable with this answer and would sometimes comment on how
    > cool the “must tell†law was.
    >
    > So that’s a bummer. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t mention the
    > police at all if you think an undercover is in your midst…
    >
    > Did You Hear the News?
    >
    > Did the police make a significant bust in your area recently? If so,
    > mention it. Undercover cops are trained to stay relaxed in high pressure
    > situations, but by bringing up some especially noteworthy piece of
    > police news, you’ve just entered something into the mix that normally
    > isn’t present…their ego. Try mentioning that you don’t see what the big
    > deal is about the bust that was all over the news last week and then,
    > just like in poker, wait for the tell.
    >
    > Nobody likes to have their pride injured, and that’s exactly what you’re
    > doing. If the guy hoping to sell you a pound of kush suddenly snaps at
    > you about how that bust was a HUGE deal, you’re probably dealing with a
    > cop. Watch for any reaction that strikes you as out of the ordinary. If
    > your gut is telling you to flee the scene, do it.
    >
    > Hits From the Bong
    >
    > This tidbit is especially for the dealers out there, and once again, it
    > comes from former undercover agent Barry Cooper. If you suspect that the
    > person you’re selling to is a cop, offer them a bong hit. Not a joint,
    > not a blunt, not a hitter…a bong hit.
    >
    > Why? Because undercover cops are strictly prohibited from actually
    > partaking in drugs while in the field. Some are even tested immediately
    > after returning from their crime fighting missions. That said, they are
    > trained to hit a joint or some other lightweight toking apparatus
    > without taking any smoke into their lungs. They just pass it through
    > their nose and back out into the air. What a waste!
    >
    > But anyone who knows anything knows that hitting a bong without using
    > your lungs is literally impossible. No respectable drug purchaser is
    > going to pass on the opportunity to sample what you’re selling prior to
    > paying for it, be it in a joint, a bong or a hollowed out apple. If you
    > offer up your intricately handcrafted, dragon shaped bong and they
    > refuse, something is amiss. Tell them to kick rocks and live to sell the
    > good stuff another day.


    What does any of that have to do with Java, current films, or television,
    Zonker Bill?
     
    Deeyana, Apr 26, 2011
    #3
  4. On Apr 24, 4:43 pm, Captain Infinity <>
    wrote:
    > Once Upon A Time,
    >
    > Zonker Bill wrote:
    > >Five Tips for Spotting an Undercover Cop

    >
    > >http://tinyurl.com/3fj6pfv

    >
    > >Posted 4/20/2011 at 9:00 am by Adam Tod Brown

    >
    > Hey, great article!  Now tell us how to commit rape and arson and get away
    > with it.  I love getting away with illegal things!


    Richard Feynman was a pot smoker.
     
    Joe Snodgrass, Apr 27, 2011
    #4
  5. On Apr 27, 8:22 pm, Captain Infinity <>
    wrote:
    > Once Upon A Time,
    >
    > Joe Snodgrass wrote:
    > >Richard Feynman was a pot smoker.

    >
    > And look where it got him: dead, and with ony an imaginary shuttlecraft
    > named after him to carry on his memory.
    >
    > Another marijuana related death.  Tragic.


    Yeah. Yeah, that's the TICKET!!
     
    Joe Snodgrass, Apr 28, 2011
    #5
    1. Advertising

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