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Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
She was that bad, huh?

Well, in an attempt to boil it all down to a single, overall deficiency,
she just wasn't a very nice person. There were times when she could be
nice and in certain areas she was even above the norm, so to speak, but
the mean of her personality was just that - rather mean. She also
seemed to lack a certain sense of decorum that most people exhibit
relative to whatever social setting they happen to be in at the moment.

One thing I found pretty funny was that a couple of times she said,
"Well, at least we're compatible on an intellectual level." Well, we're
not. She had more ego than brains, although I probably should have
taken a different tact with her tantrums than I did as well.
May I assume then that thinking straight is not a vital purpose?

Phffft. Who can think straight when he's got a boner?
exhibiting behavior Freud cataloged quite scientifically over a century
ago.

And which behaviour would that be exactly? As I've never been
discombobulated[1] in the slightest possible way, I have no idea what
behaviour would go with that (lack of) state of mind.

Irrationality, petulancy, pettiness, rudeness, inconsideration,
haughtiness, coldness, vileness, pruriency, and flatulence just to name
a few. With some thought, most men could make a list several pages
long.

Right! Now I'm even more sure I've never been in that state. Ow, I can
say I've at times displayed each single one of those traits, but never
all at the same time. And never combined with discombobulation. Traits
like these are mostly invoked by the male partner's behaviour. Haven't
had to display any of them since my divorce.

I just had a horrible thought. What if you're my ex-wife in edisguise?
Oh, bummer, bummer. Please say you're not and swear to it on the Holy
Bible (unless you're an atheist in which case you can use the phone
book.)

Anyway, "discombobulated" means confused or disoriented. It's not
necessarily so negative a trait and everybody gets that way sometimes.
However, coupled with one or more of the typically feminine
idiosyncrasies with which we are all familiar, it can become a powerful
force allied to the dark side of the human experience. In the milder
manifestation, it might simply engender ennui.
To be entirely honest: no. I merely tried to glue the fallen apart
topic together by linking a chunk about 'psychology' back to
'inventive males'. I really don't mind what men do with their time, as
long as it's their time, not mine.


Indeed it is. I wouldn't call that 'lesser productivity' though.
Different maybe, not necessarily lesser. BTW, when I said 'time on
their hands', I was /not/ meaning to refer to idle time. Rather
dedicated time. Which is a good thing too.


Not sure what you're saying they're used to; irreconcilable points of
debate, giving long non-responses, or wise choices? All three?
I'm guessing you mean that men are used to women giving them
non-responses especially when men need non-non-responses from those
same women? Maybe you're right. But if I'd get a non-response when I
really needed one, I'd force a response.

Your final guess wins the kewpie doll. And speaking of your response to
the non-response issue, it's easy enough for a woman to "force a
response", indeed. All she has to do is dance around in something
skimpy, gyrate her genomes a little, and Bingo! She scores! Men,
because of their biological makeup, can be overwhelmed by the tactics of
most any wily, wicked woman displaying such a concupiscent bent,
although they do feel a certain sense of remorse when they've been
drinking and sober up.

And last but not least, ask yourself this question: What would the
world say if a man tried to "force a response"?
Correct. Cause imo, it was indeed women who invented it, only the
current form was invented by a man who forgot to patent it.


You'd think that, wouldn't you. But that's not exactly how it
happened. Read up on the facts:
http://www.nzgirl.co.nz/articles/2511

After reading that article, I tried Googling for jockstraps but fell
asleep waiting for the responses.
I meant the second occurrence of "act" to mean "do" or "behave", not
"act" as in "actress". If there's one thing I don't do, it's act like
something I'm not. Ever.

Good point. One time I tried acting like a gentleman and everyone
thought I was sick.
[baking cookies vs inventing modern technologies]
Excuse me for being sarcastic in a way not particularly genteel.
It's just that talk about creativity and baking somehow makes me feel
the stove's been on for a lengthy time and I have to get my cookies off.

<g>
(be careful - they may be hot)

He he he. If you think they're hot, you should see the cannoli.

No need to spell it out for me, I got the joke the first time.

Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssse me! Most
gals find a bit of repetition invigorating.
[time-efficiency coming naturally to men]
Whose fault is that? -Your mother's?

No, don't think so. If it is indeed a fault, I'd say it's mine.

Well, um, er, okay.
That's how this thread started I think? You calling colourful language
the 'mystique' of a man.

Actually, it started with some long-forgotten question about some nerdy
html stuff. You'd think they'd put up a special forum or something.
I don't believe you. With this obviously artistic way with words you
have, you still use lines like "I haven't seen you here before" ?

Huh? I never said that.
And then you wonder why it doesn't work?
If a man in a bar asks you why he never saw you there before, it
simply implies that a) the man hangs out there virtually every day (or
weekend), and b) so far didn't have success finding a mate. This
proves that a) he's only after a one-night-stand, or b) there's
something wrong with him, so basically, you don't want him either.

Yes, but if a woman in a bar asks the same question, it means a) she's a
gold-digging floozy out for bucks and willing to work "undercover" to
get them, or b) she contracted a case of syphilis, is going blind, and
desperately needs glasses and one for the road.

Ah, generalizations are generally so congenially generic.
Nice snippage :)

I am oft complimented for my snippage,
Though more oft rebuked for my sippage.
I do not pass gas nor crassly burp,
But, alas, I've been known to loudly slurp.
Sounds like a reasonable guess. Can't tell for sure though, as I don't
know any young Australians.

Hmm, I thought you were an Aussie. Can't remember why, -perhaps your
argumentative nature.
Only sometimes. Not as often as men interpret those words like that
though. Not by far <g>

And, of course, men are supposed to be the omniscient mind-readers who
*know* when a woman is speaking plainly and when a woman is speaking
fainly. Yeah...
[1] That sure is a funny word, especially when you say it a couple of
times in a row.

That's what I thought about "do".

I agree. I've so far only found one example where repeating the word
'do' doesn't sound too funny. Maybe 'cause they put some music behind
it and combined it with 'da'.

Well, I hope the Camptown ladies sing other songs as well because that
one fell off the charts a mighty long time ago.
 
E

Els

Neredbojias said:
Well, in an attempt to boil it all down to a single, overall deficiency,
she just wasn't a very nice person. There were times when she could be
nice and in certain areas she was even above the norm, so to speak, but
the mean of her personality was just that - rather mean. She also
seemed to lack a certain sense of decorum that most people exhibit
relative to whatever social setting they happen to be in at the moment.

Erm.. you mean she'd burp in an exclusive restaurant or wear high
heels on a bike ride or something?
One thing I found pretty funny was that a couple of times she said,
"Well, at least we're compatible on an intellectual level." Well, we're
not. She had more ego than brains, although I probably should have
taken a different tact with her tantrums than I did as well.

More ego than brains.. you're sure she was a woman?
Phffft. Who can think straight when he's got a boner?

Erm.. that's what I meant by saying the blood is required elsewhere so
the brain can't use it, thus leaving men discombobulated more easily
then women :)
exhibiting behavior Freud cataloged quite scientifically over a century
ago.

And which behaviour would that be exactly? As I've never been
discombobulated[1] in the slightest possible way, I have no idea what
behaviour would go with that (lack of) state of mind.

Irrationality, petulancy, pettiness, rudeness, inconsideration,
haughtiness, coldness, vileness, pruriency, and flatulence just to name
a few. With some thought, most men could make a list several pages
long.

Right! Now I'm even more sure I've never been in that state. Ow, I can
say I've at times displayed each single one of those traits, but never
all at the same time. And never combined with discombobulation. Traits
like these are mostly invoked by the male partner's behaviour. Haven't
had to display any of them since my divorce.

I just had a horrible thought. What if you're my ex-wife in edisguise?
Oh, bummer, bummer. Please say you're not and swear to it on the Holy
Bible (unless you're an atheist in which case you can use the phone
book.)

I won't swear (says somewhere in that bible I shouldn't, so it'd be
pretty stupid to swear on that same book), but I'll promise you, that
if you are not secretly a Brazilian man who hardly speaks any English,
then chances are I'm not your ex-wife :)
Anyway, "discombobulated" means confused or disoriented.

Which may well be the result from lack of blood pressure in the brain.
It's not
necessarily so negative a trait and everybody gets that way sometimes.
However, coupled with one or more of the typically feminine
idiosyncrasies with which we are all familiar, it can become a powerful
force allied to the dark side of the human experience. In the milder
manifestation, it might simply engender ennui.

I think that happens both ways. It's not just women who bore men.
Your final guess wins the kewpie doll.
Eeew!

And speaking of your response to
the non-response issue, it's easy enough for a woman to "force a
response", indeed. All she has to do is dance around in something
skimpy, gyrate her genomes a little, and Bingo! She scores! Men,
because of their biological makeup, can be overwhelmed by the tactics of
most any wily, wicked woman displaying such a concupiscent bent,
although they do feel a certain sense of remorse when they've been
drinking and sober up.

That's not exactly what I meant by forcing. That is foul play if you
ask me.
And last but not least, ask yourself this question: What would the
world say if a man tried to "force a response"?

If you'd use the same force I meant, there would be no problem.
When you really need an answer, and the partner doesn't wanna give a
response, tell 'em the consequences. Which should not be any physical
harm inflicted as punishment, but a logical consequence of that lack
of a response.
A bit like women who want their man to say if he loves them. Man
doesn't know for sure, so he doesn't wanna say it. Woman says she has
to know very soon, or else there's the consequence: man loses woman.
Very simple. Very effective (if followed through).

(men who then lie get in trouble later when found out)

[bra invented by man because of 'inspiration']
After reading that article, I tried Googling for jockstraps but fell
asleep waiting for the responses.

You're sure you didn't fall asleep before that?

"Jockstraps were first developed in the late 1800's to be worn by
bicycle delivery boys by the Bike Company."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jockstrap
Good point. One time I tried acting like a gentleman and everyone
thought I was sick.

See? No use. I probably gave up on acting at the age of one. That's
when I stopped pretending I could whistle (not a tune, one tone it
was).
[baking cookies vs inventing modern technologies]
Excuse me for being sarcastic in a way not particularly genteel.
It's just that talk about creativity and baking somehow makes me feel
the stove's been on for a lengthy time and I have to get my cookies off.

<g>
(be careful - they may be hot)

He he he. If you think they're hot, you should see the cannoli.

No need to spell it out for me, I got the joke the first time.

Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssse me! Most
gals find a bit of repetition invigorating.

Not when it comes to jokes - I think you've been had :)
[time-efficiency coming naturally to men]
"Efficient" doesn't mean "spartan".

Ow, I know that, point still holds though. I'm certainly not
time-efficient.

Whose fault is that? -Your mother's?

No, don't think so. If it is indeed a fault, I'd say it's mine.

Well, um, er, okay.
That's how this thread started I think? You calling colourful language
the 'mystique' of a man.

Actually, it started with some long-forgotten question about some nerdy
html stuff.

Ah yes, but that was before my time I think. Could it be it was about
KDE and some mail program?
You'd think they'd put up a special forum or something.

Quite.

[chat-up lines]
Huh? I never said that.

So.. what wheel do you spin to chat up a prospective partner?
Yes, but if a woman in a bar asks the same question, it means a) she's a
gold-digging floozy out for bucks and willing to work "undercover" to
get them, or b) she contracted a case of syphilis, is going blind, and
desperately needs glasses and one for the road.

Indeed. All reasons to avoid that type of woman.
Ah, generalizations are generally so congenially generic.

I reckon they should make a law to state that that has to be so. Soon
enough it will be over with the generalizations' general genericness.
I am oft complimented for my snippage,
Though more oft rebuked for my sippage.
I do not pass gas nor crassly burp,
But, alas, I've been known to loudly slurp.

Not only good with prose, but a poet as well!
Hmm, I thought you were an Aussie. Can't remember why, -perhaps your
argumentative nature.

As far as I know, Aussies are generally friendly, outgoing, lively and
irrepressibly optimistic. Is that what you call argumentative?
Anyway, no, I'm not Australian, I'm Dutch. That means not Danish, nor
German. It's the nationality of the inhabitants of the Netherlands.
Western Europe :)
And, of course, men are supposed to be the omniscient mind-readers who
*know* when a woman is speaking plainly and when a woman is speaking
fainly. Yeah...

You got that right. (well, almost - 'fainly' is spelled wrong)
It's not like we make it difficult for you to detect the difference
though. As soon as you make an error, you are corrected. If the error
is in favour of salaciousness, the correction usually is served as a
slap. If the error is in the opposite direction, the consequence is
less sex than you could have had.
[1] That sure is a funny word, especially when you say it a couple of
times in a row.

That's what I thought about "do".

I agree. I've so far only found one example where repeating the word
'do' doesn't sound too funny. Maybe 'cause they put some music behind
it and combined it with 'da'.

Well, I hope the Camptown ladies sing other songs as well because that
one fell off the charts a mighty long time ago.

Didn't know that song. Now I have two examples :)
 
N

Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
Erm.. you mean she'd burp in an exclusive restaurant or wear high
heels on a bike ride or something?

Yeah, that's it. No couth and no class. Unfortunately, no character,
either.
More ego than brains.. you're sure she was a woman?
</ducks>

The Devil Woman from Hell. Perhaps I did something really, really bad
in a past life.
Erm.. that's what I meant by saying the blood is required elsewhere so
the brain can't use it, thus leaving men discombobulated more easily
then women :)

Oh, men aren't discombobulated under such circumstances. They simply
osmose into an altered state where as often as not they are able to be
even more single-minded due to the damping of extraneous stimuli.
Furthermore, men have brain-power to spare so a few red cells more or
less probably don't mean as much in the cranium as they do in the
crotch.
exhibiting behavior Freud cataloged quite scientifically over a century
ago.

And which behaviour would that be exactly? As I've never been
discombobulated[1] in the slightest possible way, I have no idea what
behaviour would go with that (lack of) state of mind.

Irrationality, petulancy, pettiness, rudeness, inconsideration,
haughtiness, coldness, vileness, pruriency, and flatulence just to name
a few. With some thought, most men could make a list several pages
long.

Right! Now I'm even more sure I've never been in that state. Ow, I can
say I've at times displayed each single one of those traits, but never
all at the same time. And never combined with discombobulation. Traits
like these are mostly invoked by the male partner's behaviour. Haven't
had to display any of them since my divorce.

I just had a horrible thought. What if you're my ex-wife in edisguise?
Oh, bummer, bummer. Please say you're not and swear to it on the Holy
Bible (unless you're an atheist in which case you can use the phone
book.)

I won't swear (says somewhere in that bible I shouldn't, so it'd be
pretty stupid to swear on that same book), but I'll promise you, that
if you are not secretly a Brazilian man who hardly speaks any English,
then chances are I'm not your ex-wife :)

I'm definitely not a Brazilian. I don't even like their nuts.

....
That's not exactly what I meant by forcing. That is foul play if you
ask me.

Exactly. But it's far from a rarity and many women consider it normal
behavior.
If you'd use the same force I meant, there would be no problem.
When you really need an answer, and the partner doesn't wanna give a
response, tell 'em the consequences. Which should not be any physical
harm inflicted as punishment, but a logical consequence of that lack
of a response.

Just as a side note, there is never a legitimate excuse for abusing a
woman (-or a gay person or a nerd or even an Australian.) However, when
you said "force", I took it to mean force not merely steadfastness.
A bit like women who want their man to say if he loves them. Man
doesn't know for sure, so he doesn't wanna say it. Woman says she has
to know very soon, or else there's the consequence: man loses woman.
Very simple. Very effective (if followed through).

Oh, the humanities! I think I need a beer.
(men who then lie get in trouble later when found out)

[bra invented by man because of 'inspiration']
After reading that article, I tried Googling for jockstraps but fell
asleep waiting for the responses.

You're sure you didn't fall asleep before that?

Well said:
"Jockstraps were first developed in the late 1800's to be worn by
bicycle delivery boys by the Bike Company."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jockstrap

So for the entire existence of the human race minus a little over 100
years, men had no support. No wonder I'm cranky in the morning.
See? No use. I probably gave up on acting at the age of one. That's
when I stopped pretending I could whistle (not a tune, one tone it
was).

It's a good thing, though. Women are supposed to be the whistlees not
the whistlers.
[baking cookies vs inventing modern technologies]
Excuse me for being sarcastic in a way not particularly genteel.
It's just that talk about creativity and baking somehow makes me feel
the stove's been on for a lengthy time and I have to get my cookies off.

<g>
(be careful - they may be hot)

He he he. If you think they're hot, you should see the cannoli.

No need to spell it out for me, I got the joke the first time.

Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssse me! Most
gals find a bit of repetition invigorating.

Not when it comes to jokes - I think you've been had :)

-Many times. And admittedly, some of them were jokes.

....
[chat-up lines]
Huh? I never said that.

So.. what wheel do you spin to chat up a prospective partner?

Well, if she's a dummy, I usually start out with "I like a girl with
brains." If I think she can reason deductively, I mention that I wear
extra large underpants. And last but least, the smart ones are told I'm
a doctor and asked if they've ever experienced the discomfort of a cold,
cold stethoscope in warmest of places. That one's almost fail safe.
Indeed. All reasons to avoid that type of woman.

-And the intrepidly unavoidable reason not to.
I reckon they should make a law to state that that has to be so. Soon
enough it will be over with the generalizations' general genericness.

-At least so it's generally generalized in the genuine journals of
geriatric generals.
Not only good with prose, but a poet as well!

-From way back. I've penned o'er a hundred bodacious odes and wrote
some more in pencil. And to wit, some rather notably famous personage
from a bygone era actually purloined some of my best scribblage thereby
committing the unspeakable act of plagiarism, but he shall be nameless
here forevermore.
As far as I know, Aussies are generally friendly, outgoing, lively and
irrepressibly optimistic. Is that what you call argumentative?

No, it's what I call a loaded question. Do you know any Australians
besides kangaroos and koala bears?

Anyway, no, I'm not Australian, I'm Dutch. That means not Danish, nor
German. It's the nationality of the inhabitants of the Netherlands.
Western Europe :)

I'm an earthling. Not Martian, not Venusian, and definitely not
Centaurian. Certain, uh, creatures call me a wild space jock but I
prefer to think of myself as a geodesic node nestled comfortably on the
back side of an imposing butte.
You got that right. (well, almost - 'fainly' is spelled wrong)
It's not like we make it difficult for you to detect the difference
though. As soon as you make an error, you are corrected. If the error
is in favour of salaciousness, the correction usually is served as a
slap. If the error is in the opposite direction, the consequence is
less sex than you could have had.

Oh pshaw! That's female-thinking of the most chauvinistic kind.
'Thought it went out with the bustle and corset.
[1] That sure is a funny word, especially when you say it a couple of
times in a row.

That's what I thought about "do".

I agree. I've so far only found one example where repeating the word
'do' doesn't sound too funny. Maybe 'cause they put some music behind
it and combined it with 'da'.

Well, I hope the Camptown ladies sing other songs as well because that
one fell off the charts a mighty long time ago.

Didn't know that song. Now I have two examples :)

Er, what other song has "do da" in it?
 
E

Els

Neredbojias wrote:

[ex-wife]
Yeah, that's it. No couth and no class. Unfortunately, no character,
either.

So... what made you fall for her then?!
Temporary brain-loss?
The Devil Woman from Hell. Perhaps I did something really, really bad
in a past life.

Doesn't have to be a past life.
The really really bad thing you did could easily have been a simple
thing like choosing the wrong woman.
Oh, men aren't discombobulated under such circumstances. They simply
osmose into an altered state where as often as not they are able to be
even more single-minded due to the damping of extraneous stimuli.

Boils down to the same thing imo.
Furthermore, men have brain-power to spare so a few red cells more or
less probably don't mean as much in the cranium as they do in the
crotch.

You might have a point there.
I'm definitely not a Brazilian. I don't even like their nuts.

Knew that.
...

Exactly. But it's far from a rarity and many women consider it normal
behavior.

Glad I'm not a man having to put up with that :)
Just as a side note, there is never a legitimate excuse for abusing a
woman (-or a gay person or a nerd or even an Australian.) However, when
you said "force", I took it to mean force not merely steadfastness.

Steadfastness can be used as a powerful force.
They say that you can even use it to raise little rascals to be
responsible adults! Ask me in about 15 years if it really works.
Oh, the humanities! I think I need a beer.
Sorry.


So for the entire existence of the human race minus a little over 100
years, men had no support.

I guess no man has been inspired enough by that to invent such a
simple thing as a jock-strap then.
No wonder I'm cranky in the morning.

Blame it on the inventors. (not the one that finally did invent the
thing - all the other ones from way back)
It's a good thing, though. Women are supposed to be the whistlees not
the whistlers.

You reckon that's what made me decide to stop at age one?
Not when it comes to jokes - I think you've been had :)

-Many times. And admittedly, some of them were jokes.
:)
[chat-up lines]
So.. what wheel do you spin to chat up a prospective partner?

Well, if she's a dummy, I usually start out with "I like a girl with
brains." If I think she can reason deductively, I mention that I wear
extra large underpants. And last but least, the smart ones are told I'm
a doctor and asked if they've ever experienced the discomfort of a cold,
cold stethoscope in warmest of places. That one's almost fail safe.

If she falls for that, she's not that smart.
Or maybe she is. Depends on what she's after, I guess.

Btw, how do you detect which category the girl is in before you start
talking?
-And the intrepidly unavoidable reason not to.

I figured you'd say something to that extent. said:
-At least so it's generally generalized in the genuine journals of
geriatric generals.

What noise annoys an oyster most?
-From way back. I've penned o'er a hundred bodacious odes and wrote
some more in pencil.

Didn't they deserve ink?
And to wit, some rather notably famous personage from a bygone era

Sounds like you're really really old. 94?
actually purloined some of my best scribblage thereby
committing the unspeakable act of plagiarism, but he shall be nameless
here forevermore.

And what has this person done for you that you grant him such mercy?
No, it's what I call a loaded question. Do you know any Australians
besides kangaroos and koala bears?

Yes. Remember Mark Parnell, rf, brucie and Disco Octopus? (probably
forgot a few)

I do know a few in real life too though, but haven't spoken to them
for about 10 years now. They all have this weird habit of living in a
far away country.
I'm an earthling. Not Martian, not Venusian, and definitely not
Centaurian.

I guess that's a Good Thing.
Certain, uh, creatures call me a wild space jock but I
prefer to think of myself as a geodesic node nestled comfortably on the
back side of an imposing butte.

Sure, why not :)
Oh pshaw! That's female-thinking of the most chauvinistic kind.
'Thought it went out with the bustle and corset.

Is that how long you haven't had contact with a female?
[1] That sure is a funny word, especially when you say it a couple of
times in a row.

That's what I thought about "do".

I agree. I've so far only found one example where repeating the word
'do' doesn't sound too funny. Maybe 'cause they put some music behind
it and combined it with 'da'.

Well, I hope the Camptown ladies sing other songs as well because that
one fell off the charts a mighty long time ago.

Didn't know that song. Now I have two examples :)

Er, what other song has "do da" in it?

None, but I was talking of a combination of 'da' with repeated 'do's
;-)

<quote>
Don't think me unkind
Words are hard to find
They're only cheques I've left unsigned
From the banks of chaos in my mind
And when their eloquence escapes me
Their logic ties me up and rapes me

Poets priests and politicians
Have words to thank for their positions
Words that scream for your submission
And no-one's jamming their transmission
'Cos when their eloquence escapes you
Their logic ties you up and rapes you
</quote>

The 'do' and the 'da' are in the chorus:

<quote>
De do do do de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De do do do de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true
</quote>

Just in case it doesn't ring a bell, it's 'De Do Do Do' by The Police
(1980).
 
N

Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
So... what made you fall for her then?!
Temporary brain-loss?

Well, she was a comely wench and prone to be supine in an endemic
manner. It was more like temporary gain in another organic arena.
Doesn't have to be a past life.
The really really bad thing you did could easily have been a simple
thing like choosing the wrong woman.

Yes, that's what I did. 'Had suspicions early, too. But how can you
*know* before "the guillotine plummets"? The first 3 or 4 years were
pretty good...well, for the most part.
Glad I'm not a man having to put up with that :)

Sure, rub it in. Ever notice how women can pull the nastiest, most
despicable tricks this side of Hades and then dismiss all with an airy
remark or flippant gesture that includes the middle finger in a
metaphorically sublime but nonetheless real sense?
Steadfastness can be used as a powerful force.
They say that you can even use it to raise little rascals to be
responsible adults! Ask me in about 15 years if it really works.

Yes, but most women define "steadfastness" as "stubbornness". They're
not the same thing.
I guess no man has been inspired enough by that to invent such a
simple thing as a jock-strap then.

Men are like lions, tigers, certain anthropoids and other testeed
species of manifest destiny. They like to show the goods so that any
passing female may "cast her ballot accordingly when she goes to the
poles."
You reckon that's what made me decide to stop at age one?

That and the fact that puckered lips might have been misinterpreted when
you got older.
[chat-up lines]
So.. what wheel do you spin to chat up a prospective partner?

Well, if she's a dummy, I usually start out with "I like a girl with
brains." If I think she can reason deductively, I mention that I wear
extra large underpants. And last but least, the smart ones are told I'm
a doctor and asked if they've ever experienced the discomfort of a cold,
cold stethoscope in warmest of places. That one's almost fail safe.

If she falls for that, she's not that smart.
Or maybe she is. Depends on what she's after, I guess.

Btw, how do you detect which category the girl is in before you start
talking?

Simple observation. If her eyes are crossed and she babbles a lot about
mundane things, she's a dummy. If her legs are crossed and she can
sustain at least a semblance of an intelligent conversation about
complex issues, she's somewhere at mid-level. If both her eyes and legs
fall helplessly open and she crosses herself in silent consternation
when she looks at my fly, she's a genius.
I figured you'd say something to that extent. <g>

I figured you'd figure that, figuratively speaking.
What noise annoys an oyster most?

Pearl Jam?
Didn't they deserve ink?

The well ran dry. 'Happens when you're active with the quill.
Sounds like you're really really old. 94?

A geezer never tells his age.
And what has this person done for you that you grant him such mercy?

Well, he died young so I figured I owed him one for the voodoo, etc.
Yes. Remember Mark Parnell, rf, brucie and Disco Octopus? (probably
forgot a few)

Oh, yeah, there's an optimistic quartet...
Is that how long you haven't had contact with a female?

No. Besides, during those unavoidable dry spells, I have my trusty
rubber life raft with the painting on it to wile away the tension.
None, but I was talking of a combination of 'da' with repeated 'do's
;-)

<quote>
Don't think me unkind
Words are hard to find
They're only cheques I've left unsigned
From the banks of chaos in my mind
And when their eloquence escapes me
Their logic ties me up and rapes me

Poets priests and politicians
Have words to thank for their positions
Words that scream for your submission
And no-one's jamming their transmission
'Cos when their eloquence escapes you
Their logic ties you up and rapes you
</quote>

The 'do' and the 'da' are in the chorus:

<quote>
De do do do de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De do do do de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true
</quote>

Just in case it doesn't ring a bell, it's 'De Do Do Do' by The Police
(1980).

I'm afraid I have to object. The "do" does not precede the "da";
there's a "de" in between. Ergo, it is improper to call any part of
this construct a "do-da duality". Furthermore, the words, commonplace
and uninspired, remind me of little more than unpaid bills, mental
instability, and sexual deviancy from multiple directions. -A "C-"
effort, at best.
 
E

Els

Neredbojias said:
Well, she was a comely wench and prone to be supine in an endemic
manner. It was more like temporary gain in another organic arena.

So I was right: temporary brain-loss.
Yes, that's what I did. 'Had suspicions early, too. But how can you
*know* before "the guillotine plummets"? The first 3 or 4 years were
pretty good...well, for the most part.

So, either she had a different character in the first 3 or 4 years, or
you still hadn't fully recovered from the 'temporary' brain-loss.
Ever notice how women can pull the nastiest, most
despicable tricks this side of Hades and then dismiss all with an airy
remark or flippant gesture that includes the middle finger in a
metaphorically sublime but nonetheless real sense?

Actually, no, never noticed. They never try that with me really.
Yes, but most women define "steadfastness" as "stubbornness". They're
not the same thing.

I know. I possess both of those qualities.
Men are like lions, tigers, certain anthropoids and other testeed
species of manifest destiny. They like to show the goods

Some men actually think we like it when they make a showcase out of
it.
so that any
passing female may "cast her ballot accordingly when she goes to the
poles."

Only a polar bear female would wanna make the effort.

[different chat-up lines for different girls]
If both her eyes and legs
fall helplessly open and she crosses herself in silent consternation
when she looks at my fly, she's a genius.

I should have known you'd classify 'genius' like that.
Pearl Jam?

Probably. Clever find btw.
However, personally I don't think Pearl Jam qualifies as 'noisy
noise', but I do realize that opinions on that matter tend to greatly
differ.
The well ran dry. 'Happens when you're active with the quill.

And you never thought of typing them out, publish them maybe?
A geezer never tells his age.

94 it is then.
Well, he died young so I figured I owed him one for the voodoo, etc.
Okay.


Oh, yeah, there's an optimistic quartet...

They most likely are in real life - they're Aussies :)
No. Besides, during those unavoidable dry spells, I have my trusty
rubber life raft with the painting on it to wile away the tension.

Eeew!
(and I don't believe you)
I'm afraid I have to object. The "do" does not precede the "da";
there's a "de" in between.

I never claimed there wasn't another word in between.
Ergo, it is improper to call any part of
this construct a "do-da duality".

I never did. I called it 'repeating the word do' and 'combined it with
da'. I reckon that leaves space for a 'de' if I want to.
Furthermore, the words, commonplace
and uninspired, remind me of little more than unpaid bills, mental
instability, and sexual deviancy from multiple directions.

Sounds like you have a full and busy life with no room for negative
thoughts.
-A "C-" effort, at best.

If a C- effort results in that big a hit, a C- effort is just fine by
me :)
 
N

Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
So I was right: temporary brain-loss.

It may not be entirely inaccurate to label it so, but you must remember
that men are merely victims of the evolutionary imperative. Were it not
for the stigmae of certain DNA sequences, sex would seem quite
disgusting in comparison to fusion or origination.
So, either she had a different character in the first 3 or 4 years, or
you still hadn't fully recovered from the 'temporary' brain-loss.


Actually, no, never noticed. They never try that with me really.

Of course not. Women stick together, However, it's not so much that
they are communally evil but rather that another woman simply doesn't
possess the gem-like qualities manifest by the male.
Some men actually think we like it when they make a showcase out of
it.

It is understandable that with their advanced mental development at
least in relation to the bulk of the animal kingdom, women would prefer
a private display.
Only a polar bear female would wanna make the effort.

But the efforts of a bare bipolar female can be much more entertaining.
[different chat-up lines for different girls]
If both her eyes and legs
fall helplessly open and she crosses herself in silent consternation
when she looks at my fly, she's a genius.

I should have known you'd classify 'genius' like that.

Geesh, it was just a joke to lighten-up the mood. A smart girl knows
that men are typically on the make so when she wants to be typically
made, she doesn't wear panties.
Probably. Clever find btw.
However, personally I don't think Pearl Jam qualifies as 'noisy
noise', but I do realize that opinions on that matter tend to greatly
differ.

I like the group (-particularly their song "Black"), but they are a bit
dated. Of course, some maturer people still like Frank Sinatra, Elvis,
and The Police, so...
And you never thought of typing them out, publish them maybe?

A few were published, although <sigh> never in popular periodicals of
general interest. Perhaps I'll post one of the shorter items so you can
laud me appropriately.
94 it is then.

Nah. You're at least a radian off.
They most likely are in real life - they're Aussies :)

Well, I suppose that to the average Nederlander, any non-national would
seem euphoric.
Eeew!
(and I don't believe you)

Okay. It's a pneumatic nympho with gnome-like features and elves are
considered to be acceptably deviant forms of mischief.
I never claimed there wasn't another word in between.


I never did. I called it 'repeating the word do' and 'combined it with
da'. I reckon that leaves space for a 'de' if I want to.

'Know a girl by that name who manages a trois and would be glad to hear
it.
Sounds like you have a full and busy life with no room for negative
thoughts.

Yep. I'm Australian at heart.
If a C- effort results in that big a hit, a C- effort is just fine by
me :)

Hits result not from the fundaments of a composition but from the
vagaries of the times. And performance matters. It's a lot like sex.
 
N

Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
So I was right: temporary brain-loss.

It may not be entirely inaccurate to label it so, but you must remember
that men are merely victims of the evolutionary imperative. Were it not
for the stigmae of certain DNA sequences, sex would seem quite
disgusting in comparison to fusion or origination.
So, either she had a different character in the first 3 or 4 years, or
you still hadn't fully recovered from the 'temporary' brain-loss.


Actually, no, never noticed. They never try that with me really.

Of course not. Women stick together, However, it's not so much that
they are communally evil but rather that another woman simply doesn't
possess the gem-like qualities manifest by the male.
Some men actually think we like it when they make a showcase out of
it.

It is understandable that with their advanced mental development at
least in relation to the bulk of the animal kingdom, women would prefer
a private display.
Only a polar bear female would wanna make the effort.

But the efforts of a bare bipolar female can be much more entertaining.
[different chat-up lines for different girls]
If both her eyes and legs
fall helplessly open and she crosses herself in silent consternation
when she looks at my fly, she's a genius.

I should have known you'd classify 'genius' like that.

Geesh, it was just a joke to lighten-up the mood. A smart girl knows
that men are typically on the make so when she wants to be typically
made, she doesn't wear panties.
Probably. Clever find btw.
However, personally I don't think Pearl Jam qualifies as 'noisy
noise', but I do realize that opinions on that matter tend to greatly
differ.

I like the group (-particularly their song "Black"), but they are a bit
dated. Of course, some maturer people still like Frank Sinatra, Elvis,
and The Police, so...
And you never thought of typing them out, publish them maybe?

A few were published, although <sigh> never in popular periodicals of
general interest. Perhaps I'll post one of the shorter items so you can
laud me appropriately.
94 it is then.

Nah. You're at least a radian off.
They most likely are in real life - they're Aussies :)

Well, I suppose that to the average Nederlander, any non-national would
seem euphoric.
Eeew!
(and I don't believe you)

Okay. It's a pneumatic nympho with gnome-like features and elves are
considered to be acceptably deviant forms of mischief.
I never claimed there wasn't another word in between.


I never did. I called it 'repeating the word do' and 'combined it with
da'. I reckon that leaves space for a 'de' if I want to.

'Know a girl by that name who manages a trois and would be glad to hear
it.
Sounds like you have a full and busy life with no room for negative
thoughts.

Yep. I'm Australian at heart.
If a C- effort results in that big a hit, a C- effort is just fine by
me :)

Hits result not from the fundaments of a composition but from the
vagaries of the times. And performance matters. It's a lot like sex.
 
E

Els

Neredbojias said:
It may not be entirely inaccurate to label it so, but you must remember
that men are merely victims of the evolutionary imperative. Were it not
for the stigmae of certain DNA sequences, sex would seem quite
disgusting in comparison to fusion or origination.

If it weren't for certain DNA sequences, there would be nothing/noone
to be fused or originated whatsoever. (and without certain DNS
sequences, we wouldn't be discussing this)
Of course not. Women stick together,
yucky..

However, it's not so much that
they are communally evil but rather that another woman simply doesn't
possess the gem-like qualities manifest by the male.
LOL


It is understandable that with their advanced mental development at
least in relation to the bulk of the animal kingdom, women would prefer
a private display.

Let me rephrase:
Some men actually think we like it when they make a showcase (whether
public or private) out of it.
Only a polar bear female would wanna make the effort.

But the efforts of a bare bipolar female can be much more entertaining.
[different chat-up lines for different girls]
Btw, how do you detect which category the girl is in before you start
talking?

If both her eyes and legs
fall helplessly open and she crosses herself in silent consternation
when she looks at my fly, she's a genius.

I should have known you'd classify 'genius' like that.

Geesh, it was just a joke to lighten-up the mood.

Consider your mood lightened-up :)
A smart girl knows
that men are typically on the make so when she wants to be typically
made, she doesn't wear panties.

That would indeed be the smart thing to do if she wanted to be
/typically/ made. Which of course means she'd best come across as not
too bright, except for her hair colour.
(with apologies to any and all intelligent blondes who may be reading
this)
I like the group (-particularly their song "Black"),

Indeed, excellent track, and gets better when played louder :)
but they are a bit dated.

What's wrong with dated? They're no more dated than I am :)
Of course, some maturer people still like Frank Sinatra, Elvis,
and The Police, so...

You can call me semi-mature then.

[poems]
A few were published, although <sigh> never in popular periodicals of
general interest. Perhaps I'll post one of the shorter items so you can
laud me appropriately.

/taps foot.
Nah. You're at least a radian off.
109?


Well, I suppose that to the average Nederlander, any non-national would
seem euphoric.

What's a non-national?
Okay. It's a pneumatic nympho

You wish.
with gnome-like features

still don't believe you
and elves are considered to be acceptably deviant forms of mischief.

elves are considered to be acceptably deviant figments of mischievous
imagination.
'Know a girl by that name who manages a trois and would be glad to hear
it.

I can send you an mp3 if you like.
Yep. I'm Australian at heart.

Glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.
Hits result not from the fundaments of a composition but from the
vagaries of the times. And performance matters. It's a lot like sex.

True. It's only the genuinely good ones that are being played for many
years without boring the audience.
 
N

Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
If it weren't for certain DNA sequences, there would be nothing/noone
to be fused or originated whatsoever. (and without certain DNS
sequences, we wouldn't be discussing this)

Not true, even from an earth-level point of view. "We" could be RNA-
based life forms. More fancifully, "we" could even be silicon-derived
beings suggested by The Sandman of legend or use markup instead of
coding and thrive as "Hyper Text Markup Life"/"htmllings".
Let me rephrase:
Some men actually think we like it when they make a showcase (whether
public or private) out of it.

Yeah, I guess I can buy that. At first it seemed you were voicing a
minority opinion, but then I thought that if you turned a woman inside
out and stuck her goodie up in the air, I wouldn't want to view the
result for very long, either.
[different chat-up lines for different girls]
Btw, how do you detect which category the girl is in before you start
talking?

If both her eyes and legs
fall helplessly open and she crosses herself in silent consternation
when she looks at my fly, she's a genius.

I should have known you'd classify 'genius' like that.

Geesh, it was just a joke to lighten-up the mood.

Consider your mood lightened-up :)
A smart girl knows
that men are typically on the make so when she wants to be typically
made, she doesn't wear panties.

That would indeed be the smart thing to do if she wanted to be
/typically/ made. Which of course means she'd best come across as not
too bright, except for her hair colour.

(He he, yellow-haired woman would go on warpath but don't know which
direction it's in.)

So, you're saying a woman must be a dummy in order to have a normal sex
life? No wonder smart women are so bitchy.
(with apologies to any and all intelligent blondes who may be reading
this)

I don't think llamas can read.
Indeed, excellent track, and gets better when played louder :)


What's wrong with dated? They're no more dated than I am :)

After a long enough time, the same old aural convocations lose some of
their appeal.
You can call me semi-mature then.

I'm just the opposite: semi-immature.
[poems]
A few were published, although <sigh> never in popular periodicals of
general interest. Perhaps I'll post one of the shorter items so you can
laud me appropriately.

/taps foot.

Uh, is that like clapping your hands, but in Dutch?

If I told you my age, you'd think I was lying.
What's a non-national?

A foreigner, in this case anyone not Dutch.
You wish.


still don't believe you

Let's save some time here. What would you believe?
elves are considered to be acceptably deviant figments of mischievous
imagination.

Perhaps, but some people's acceptably deviant figments are more
mischievous than others.
I can send you an mp3 if you like.

How about a stream? In return, I present this mellow little sonnet
(stream at end) which would often lull me to sleep on those warm, summer
nights when I went to bed with no underwear. Note that this is not a
personal creation but the words are still both meaningful and eloquent.

->
Black lights and a cigarette,
Pink lips and a leather dress.
And she burns inside:
A thousand lies burning in her eyes.

And I'm running but I don't know where,
I'm running fast from the things I care,
And it feels like twenty-five years,
Twenty-five thousand years.
What you had, what you had just fades.
What you had just fades.

Loves lost a thousand times,
And you know that it's babes in dives.
Lechs love, nothing less;
Black lace and a leather dress.

And I'm running 'cause I know she's there.
This isn't cricket but I don't care.
And I know that she won't ever feel
Not in twenty-five thousand years.
What you had just fades.
What you had just fades.
What you had just fades.

Black lights and a cigarette,
Pink lips and a leather dress.
Lechs love, nothing less...
What you had just fades.
What you had just fades.
<-

http://www.neredbojias.com/_uimages/bll2c.m3u
Glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.

I was when I wrote it. Subliminal masochism?
 
E

Els

Neredbojias said:
Not true, even from an earth-level point of view. "We" could be
RNA- based life forms. More fancifully, "we" could even be
silicon-derived beings suggested by The Sandman of legend or use
markup instead of coding and thrive as "Hyper Text Markup
Life"/"htmllings".

Well, I suppose you could be a silicon-derived hyper-marked up
htmllinger, but I'm sure I'm just plain human.
Yeah, I guess I can buy that. At first it seemed you were voicing
a minority opinion, but then I thought that if you turned a woman
inside out and stuck her goodie up in the air, I wouldn't want to
view the result for very long, either.

Not quite what I meant, but probably true nonetheless.
[different chat-up lines for different girls]
A smart girl knows that men are typically on the make so when she
wants to be typically made, she doesn't wear panties.

That would indeed be the smart thing to do if she wanted to be
/typically/ made. Which of course means she'd best come across as
not too bright, except for her hair colour.

(He he, yellow-haired woman would go on warpath but don't know
which direction it's in.)

We tell that joke about the Belgians.
So, you're saying a woman must be a dummy in order to have a normal
sex life? No wonder smart women are so bitchy.

Being picked up by a different guy every night is not what I call a
normal sex life. IMO, a normal sex life usually doesn't start in a bar
at all. And about smart women being bitchy... could well be 'cause
they see through 'typical' men's attempts at getting laid.
I don't think llamas can read.

You have a point.
After a long enough time, the same old aural convocations lose some
of their appeal.

Some, not all of them. It helps to not hear them every single day
though.
I'm just the opposite: semi-immature.

That's cause you're a man.
[poems]
And you never thought of typing them out, publish them maybe?

A few were published, although <sigh> never in popular
periodicals of general interest. Perhaps I'll post one of the
shorter items so you can laud me appropriately.

/taps foot.

Uh, is that like clapping your hands, but in Dutch?

No, the Dutch clap their hands too. Not instead of tapping their foot
impatiently though.
If I told you my age, you'd think I was lying.

No I wouldn't. Unless you'd lie about it :)
You could be a 20 year old male (although you probably wouldn't have
known Black by Pearl Jam), or a 100 year old woman. (I'd suspect
you're somewhere in between though)
A foreigner, in this case anyone not Dutch.

Hm.. no, us Dutch don't regard most foreigners euphoric. Aussies have
a reputation though, and I've noticed it to be true for at least 90%
of the ones I met in real life.
Let's save some time here. What would you believe?

<g>
Hm.. I'd believe happily married, as well as single and frustrated.
Just don't believe plastic artificial sex-partner. You're don't seem
sad enough for that.
Perhaps, but some people's acceptably deviant figments are more
mischievous than others.

I'd say those were probably yours.
How about a stream?

np - check your mail.
In return, I present this mellow little sonnet (stream at end) which
would often lull me to sleep on those warm, summer nights when I
went to bed with no underwear. Note that this is not a personal
creation but the words are still both meaningful and eloquent.

Words read like you could have written them though.
->
Black lights and a cigarette,
Pink lips and a leather dress.
And she burns inside:
A thousand lies burning in her eyes.

And I'm running but I don't know where,
I'm running fast from the things I care,
And it feels like twenty-five years,
Twenty-five thousand years.
What you had, what you had just fades.
What you had just fades.

Loves lost a thousand times,
And you know that it's babes in dives.
Lechs love, nothing less;
Black lace and a leather dress.

And I'm running 'cause I know she's there.
This isn't cricket but I don't care.
And I know that she won't ever feel
Not in twenty-five thousand years.
What you had just fades.
What you had just fades.
What you had just fades.

Black lights and a cigarette,
Pink lips and a leather dress.
Lechs love, nothing less...
What you had just fades.
What you had just fades.
<-

http://www.neredbojias.com/_uimages/bll2c.m3u

It sounds very familiar, but as I can't find the lyrics online, it's
probably not a well-known band? Sounds like 80's gothic style though.
I was when I wrote it. Subliminal masochism?

Maybe - did you have to laugh when you wrote it?

--
Els http://locusmeus.com/
Sonhos vem. Sonhos vão. O resto é imperfeito.
- Renato Russo -
Now playing: - bll2c.mp3
(perfect music to accompany a joint imo, only I don't smoke anymore
;-) )
 
N

Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
Well, I suppose you could be a silicon-derived hyper-marked up
htmllinger, but I'm sure I'm just plain human.

Somehow I don't think you're just a "plain" human. As for us htmlings,
we may have strange molecules but we have nice elements.
Not quite what I meant, but probably true nonetheless.

Oh, I think I got it. For example, because of this quality, women don't
like to watch skin flicks nearly as much as men. Isn't that the gist?
[different chat-up lines for different girls]
A smart girl knows that men are typically on the make so when she
wants to be typically made, she doesn't wear panties.

That would indeed be the smart thing to do if she wanted to be
/typically/ made. Which of course means she'd best come across as
not too bright, except for her hair colour.

(He he, yellow-haired woman would go on warpath but don't know
which direction it's in.)

We tell that joke about the Belgians.

Hey, my gramma was Belgian (-although we called her Bulgarian just to
burn her waffles.)
Being picked up by a different guy every night is not what I call a
normal sex life. IMO, a normal sex life usually doesn't start in a bar
at all. And about smart women being bitchy... could well be 'cause
they see through 'typical' men's attempts at getting laid.

Well, I agree with all that. However, you have to remember that men
were once cavemen and cavemen had to take what they could get whenever
they could get it. Old habits are hard to break.
Some, not all of them. It helps to not hear them every single day
though.

Yes, and that's the advantage of having a mute spouse/significant
other/exotic dancer you can afford.
That's cause you're a man.

No, I'm simply setting stricter standards for the heretofore
transitional levels of maturity.
[poems]
And you never thought of typing them out, publish them maybe?

A few were published, although <sigh> never in popular
periodicals of general interest. Perhaps I'll post one of the
shorter items so you can laud me appropriately.

/taps foot.

Uh, is that like clapping your hands, but in Dutch?

No, the Dutch clap their hands too. Not instead of tapping their foot
impatiently though.

Oh, I was impatience you were expressing... Now how in the world could
I have missed that?
No I wouldn't. Unless you'd lie about it :)
You could be a 20 year old male (although you probably wouldn't have
known Black by Pearl Jam), or a 100 year old woman. (I'd suspect
you're somewhere in between though)

I'm as old as good, aged cognac but bite like the incomparable Jack
Daniels.
Hm.. no, us Dutch don't regard most foreigners euphoric. Aussies have
a reputation though, and I've noticed it to be true for at least 90%
of the ones I met in real life.

The only Australians I've met personally were in a zoo between the
Gooney Birds and the sewer rats.
<g>
Hm.. I'd believe happily married, as well as single and frustrated.
Just don't believe plastic artificial sex-partner. You're don't seem
sad enough for that.

Well, okay; plastic is for prosthetics. "Happily married" is a state
achieved only by the delusional. "Single" and "frustrated" are not
particularly congruent states although I suppose some bachelors could
put up quite a stink if they ran out of Jergens lotion.
I'd say those were probably yours.

Perhaps, but only in a fertile arena.
np - check your mail.
Okay.


Words read like you could have written them though.


It sounds very familiar, but as I can't find the lyrics online, it's
probably not a well-known band? Sounds like 80's gothic style though.

Dunno when it was recorded but I got the song appx. 1997 when www-dot-
mp3-dot-com was still good. My record-keeping is rather non-existent
but the song *is* called "Black Lace" and *I think* the band's name is
"Unknowne".

And yes, there is a gothic flavor to it, but it still somehow reminds me
of Debbie Boone's "You Light Up My Life". (Um, I guess this could be
due to the oblique reference to strippers.)
Maybe - did you have to laugh when you wrote it?

I laugh at almost everything I write (-and some people laugh even
harder.) But not the poetry! Odes are my life, and I'm the most odious
guy I know.
 
E

Els

Neredbojias said:
With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:


Somehow I don't think you're just a "plain" human.
Ow?

As for us htmlings,
we may have strange molecules but we have nice elements.
Agreed.


Oh, I think I got it. For example, because of this quality, women don't
like to watch skin flicks nearly as much as men. Isn't that the gist?

As I haven't seen much of such flicks, I can't really tell :)
I'm guessing it's not though. How to explain this to the male
species...
It's not the showing, but the showing off, making absolutely sure we
pay attention to it, even if we've just seen it enough already.
Basically like a little boy that's proud of a new accomplishment.
Only little boys are cute when they do that.
[different chat-up lines for different girls]
A smart girl knows that men are typically on the make so when she
wants to be typically made, she doesn't wear panties.

That would indeed be the smart thing to do if she wanted to be
/typically/ made. Which of course means she'd best come across as
not too bright, except for her hair colour.

(He he, yellow-haired woman would go on warpath but don't know
which direction it's in.)

We tell that joke about the Belgians.

Hey, my gramma was Belgian (-although we called her Bulgarian just to
burn her waffles.)

Her Belgian or Bulgarian waffles?
Well, I agree with all that. However, you have to remember that men
were once cavemen and cavemen had to take what they could get whenever
they could get it. Old habits are hard to break.

Someone told me the Fins still do it that way. Hit the woman over the
head with a big bat, and drag her home.
Yes, and that's the advantage of having a mute spouse/significant
other/exotic dancer you can afford.

I think you make matters worse than they are. All you need is a decent
switch so you can turn 'em off when it gets too much.
No, I'm simply setting stricter standards for the heretofore
transitional levels of maturity.

That's okay then - I'm all for stricter standards. None of that
transitional stuff.
[poems]
And you never thought of typing them out, publish them maybe?

A few were published, although <sigh> never in popular
periodicals of general interest. Perhaps I'll post one of the
shorter items so you can laud me appropriately.

/taps foot.

Uh, is that like clapping your hands, but in Dutch?

No, the Dutch clap their hands too. Not instead of tapping their foot
impatiently though.

Oh, I was impatience you were expressing... Now how in the world could
I have missed that?

Erm.. you didn't?
I'm as old as good, aged cognac

That's still anywhere between 20 and 50 years.
but bite like the incomparable Jack Daniels.

Jack Daniels doesn't bite.
Well, never bit me - tastes great with Coke.
The only Australians I've met personally were in a zoo between the
Gooney Birds and the sewer rats.

I've seen those too - not nearly as friendly as the human Aussies.
Well, okay; plastic is for prosthetics. "Happily married" is a state
achieved only by the delusional.

As long as they're happy, who cares about delusional.
"Single" and "frustrated" are not
particularly congruent states

That's why I mentioned them both and used the word 'and' in between
the two.
although I suppose some bachelors could
put up quite a stink if they ran out of Jergens lotion.

Plain soap may help in such unfortunate cases.
Perhaps, but only in a fertile arena.
Obviously.


Dunno when it was recorded but I got the song appx. 1997 when www-dot-
mp3-dot-com was still good. My record-keeping is rather non-existent
but the song *is* called "Black Lace" and *I think* the band's name is
"Unknowne".

That helped me find it, thanks. It's indeed Unknowne, and I found two
more mp3s by them.
And yes, there is a gothic flavor to it, but it still somehow reminds me
of Debbie Boone's "You Light Up My Life". (Um, I guess this could be
due to the oblique reference to strippers.)

That must be it. No way that song could make me sleep.
I laugh at almost everything I write (-and some people laugh even
harder.) But not the poetry!

Of course not.
Odes are my life, and I'm the most odious guy I know.

Except for the odd odious ode maybe, I don't think you really have
much odium in you.
 
N

Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

Ow?? Did I step on your toe or are you just prone to spontaneous cries
of pain?
As I haven't seen much of such flicks, I can't really tell :)
I'm guessing it's not though. How to explain this to the male
species...
It's not the showing, but the showing off, making absolutely sure we
pay attention to it, even if we've just seen it enough already.

Okay, I see. A wise man knows when to stop with the visual aids and get
on with the action.
Basically like a little boy that's proud of a new accomplishment.
Only little boys are cute when they do that.

Well, I may demur but many priests agree with you wholeheartedly.
[different chat-up lines for different girls]
A smart girl knows that men are typically on the make so when she
wants to be typically made, she doesn't wear panties.

That would indeed be the smart thing to do if she wanted to be
/typically/ made. Which of course means she'd best come across as
not too bright, except for her hair colour.

(He he, yellow-haired woman would go on warpath but don't know
which direction it's in.)

We tell that joke about the Belgians.

Hey, my gramma was Belgian (-although we called her Bulgarian just to
burn her waffles.)

Her Belgian or Bulgarian waffles?

Confidentially, it was a euphemism for her Walloon moons.
Someone told me the Fins still do it that way. Hit the woman over the
head with a big bat, and drag her home.

Yes, they appear to be a no-nonsense society keen on logic and
intolerant of vacillation or drivel. I suspect that future history will
regard them as the lone beacon of light in the dark ages of
interpersonal relationships.
I think you make matters worse than they are. All you need is a decent
switch so you can turn 'em off when it gets too much.

Yes, a decent switch could rectify many female anomalies, indeed.
That's okay then - I'm all for stricter standards. None of that
transitional stuff.

Women say they reach maturity before men do but when I was in that age-
bracket not one of them would show me the hair to prove it.
That's still anywhere between 20 and 50 years.


Jack Daniels doesn't bite.
Well, never bit me - tastes great with Coke.

Oh, yuck-o! I can see you're not a purist, JD should never be mixed
and attains its finest flavor when tipped straight from the bottle.
I've seen those too - not nearly as friendly as the human Aussies.

Perhaps the ones you met were high on eucalyptus extract.
As long as they're happy, who cares about delusional.

So say the drug mongers in the ghetto. Marriage is the opiate of the
masses but some will swallow anything for a little sex.
That's why I mentioned them both and used the word 'and' in between
the two.


Plain soap may help in such unfortunate cases.

To be honest, I'd say the mixture of men and plain soap is much less
viable than a mixture of women and soft soap.
Obviously.

As well as profoundly...
That helped me find it, thanks. It's indeed Unknowne, and I found two
more mp3s by them.


That must be it. No way that song could make me sleep.

Well I hope you don't think that *I* would drift off in the presence of
a woman who was taking off her clothes!
Of course not.


Except for the odd odious ode maybe, I don't think you really have
much odium in you.

Then what do you think I am, the hollow, empty shell of a man who has
turned to the Internet in a vain effort to capture the meaning of life,
the universe, and everything? Let me say this about that: it's not for
nudie pictures alone that I sail the cybernetic seaway! While I have
momentarily forgotten the other reasons, you can bet your bottom bippie
that "Neredbojias" does not mean "flesh pot seeker". (At least in
English.)

PS: When someone posted a stream for someone else's edification, one
would have figured that someone else would have noticed the 32 kbps
bitstream and realized that someone was not an American capitalistic pig
with, among other things, a hi-speed Internet connection. However,
perhaps someone (-the original) was somewhat over-optimistic relative to
someone else's (-the other) noticeability factor. In any event, I
managed to accomplish the mission despite these egregious circumstances
by using a little good ol' male ingenuity. Thank heaven for cunning and
penises.
 
E

Els

Neredbojias said:
Ow?? Did I step on your toe or are you just prone to spontaneous
cries of pain?

No, that would be 'ouch!' 'Ow?' may be the Dutch equivalent of 'Oh?
How so?'
Okay, I see. A wise man knows when to stop with the visual aids
and get on with the action.

Visual aids.. is that what you call it said:
Well, I may demur but many priests agree with you wholeheartedly.

That's not what I meant. I said 'little boy being proud of a new
accomplishment.' Like "Mom! Did you see me throw that frisbee? It
went all the way to the neighbour's garden!" or "Look what I just
wrote here - we learned to write the M today!"
Confidentially, it was ...

If it's confidential, I'd best not repeat it.
Yes, they appear to be a no-nonsense society keen on logic and
intolerant of vacillation or drivel. I suspect that future history
will regard them as the lone beacon of light in the dark ages of
interpersonal relationships.

We'll just have to wait and see.
Women say they reach maturity before men do but when I was in that
age-bracket not one of them would show me the hair to prove it.

The fact that you did not understand that, proves those women were
mature when you still weren't.
Oh, yuck-o! I can see you're not a purist, JD should never be
mixed and attains its finest flavor when tipped straight from the
bottle.

I'm not a purist no - sometimes I'll drink stuff mixed, sometimes
neat.
Perhaps the ones you met were high on eucalyptus extract.

Are you talking about the animals or the humans?
So say the drug mongers in the ghetto.

True. I think I should have expressed myself differently:
Who is to say who is delusional and who isn't?
Marriage is the opiate of the
masses but some will swallow anything for a little sex.

You obviously married the wrong person, but you knew that already.
It's not marriage that's to blame for that though.
To be honest, I'd say the mixture of men and plain soap is much
less viable than a mixture of women and soft soap.

I think you're right. Put a soft soap and a plain soap in the bath
room, and any man will pick the soft soap. So, if both men and women
use the soft soap - who is ever gonna buy the plain soap?
As well as profoundly...

Most likely.
Well I hope you don't think that *I* would drift off in the
presence of a woman who was taking off her clothes!

How do you hear 'taking off her clothes' in that Debbie Boone song?
Then what do you think I am, the hollow, empty shell of a man who
has turned to the Internet in a vain effort to capture the meaning
of life, the universe, and everything?

That thought hadn't crossed my mind yet, but it is of course an
option.
Let me say this about that: it's not for nudie pictures alone that I
sail the cybernetic seaway! While I have momentarily forgotten the
other reasons, you can bet your bottom bippie that "Neredbojias"
does not mean "flesh pot seeker". (At least in English.)

What does it mean really?
PS: When someone posted a stream for someone else's edification, one
would have figured that someone else would have noticed the 32 kbps
bitstream

Oops, no - didn't notice. It just streamed, didn't look at the
details.
and realized that someone was not an American capitalistic pig with,

Didn't think you were really...
among other things, a hi-speed Internet connection.

You haven't? Okay, I now know that :)
However, perhaps someone (-the original) was somewhat
over-optimistic relative to someone else's (-the other)
noticeability factor.
Definitely.

In any event, I managed to accomplish the mission despite these
egregious circumstances
Hurray!

by using a little good ol' male ingenuity.

You're sure it's male? I reckon I used the same to get the file
downloaded to keep instead of hearing it only once :p
Thank heaven for cunning and penises.

Amen.
 
N

Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
No, that would be 'ouch!' 'Ow?' may be the Dutch equivalent of 'Oh?
How so?'

Ow, really? (I was going to ask you to teach me Dutch, but I think this
is all I can stand.)
Visual aids.. is that what you call it <g>

Actually, it has an old Indian name: "Heep Big Snake That Point At Sky
When Wigwam Shake." (The bedubbing originated from a loquacious
Iroquois known for her sagacious quotations.)
That's not what I meant. I said 'little boy being proud of a new
accomplishment.' Like "Mom! Did you see me throw that frisbee? It
went all the way to the neighbour's garden!" or "Look what I just
wrote here - we learned to write the M today!"

Well I tried that when I learned how to take a leak no-handed and got
nothing but negativity.
The fact that you did not understand that, proves those women were
mature when you still weren't.


I'm not a purist no - sometimes I'll drink stuff mixed, sometimes
neat.

Sometimes I drink stuff neat and sometimes I drink stuff sloppy. -Yet
another difference in the sexes.
Are you talking about the animals or the humans?

Er, how can you tell the difference?
True. I think I should have expressed myself differently:
Who is to say who is delusional and who isn't?

We must all decide for ourselves. Unfortunately, if you add up all the
votes, there are more delusional people in the world than there are
people in the world. Now tell me *that* isn't delusional.
You obviously married the wrong person, but you knew that already.
It's not marriage that's to blame for that though.

My statement wasn't meant to be a condemnation of the institution of
marriage per se but a recommendation for singles to "think before you
link". Too many youthful yokels nowadays don't realize that marriage is
more than a last-ditch effort to get into someone's pants. It is also a
responsibility that includes the concession of certain freedoms which
one may no longer enjoy except in a clandestine manner with the onus of
having an antagonist always around looking over your shoulder for
possible evidence of actual enjoyment or peace-of-mind outside the
sphere of her personal authority. If this isn't the life you were
expecting with your teaty-sweety, hah hah! -Are you in for a big
surprise!

-Er, got lost there in my thoughts for a moment. Yeah, marriage is okay
for the right kinds of persons. -Slaves and masochists.
I think you're right. Put a soft soap and a plain soap in the bath
room, and any man will pick the soft soap. So, if both men and women
use the soft soap - who is ever gonna buy the plain soap?

That isn't a question I have asked myself recently, but I will
contemplate it and get back to you.
How do you hear 'taking off her clothes' in that Debbie Boone song?


That thought hadn't crossed my mind yet, but it is of course an
option.

Yeah, an option for nuts. Just because a person has something doesn't
mean he is it.
What does it mean really?

Really? Nothing. It's just a name like "Tom" or "Bruce" or
"Subhranyamen Chandrasikar". Oh, there was a "neritboias ixtl" or
something like that mentioned in paleo-Incan scrawlings discovered
inside a cave near Chichen Itza, but I think it was simply their pet
name for the outhouse.
Oops, no - didn't notice. It just streamed, didn't look at the
details.

-Much like I during bladder release.
Didn't think you were really...


You haven't? Okay, I now know that :)


You're sure it's male? I reckon I used the same to get the file
downloaded to keep instead of hearing it only once :p

Really? I'm impressed. And here I thought you were only a pretty type-
face.

PS: If you want the hi-fi version (128 kbps), let me know.
 
E

Els

Neredbojias said:
Ow, really? (I was going to ask you to teach me Dutch,

Yeah right.
but I think this is all I can stand.)

Any English speaking person wanting to learn Dutch should have some
sort of stamina, as well as a healthy supply of throat pastilles.
Actually, it has an old Indian name: "Heep Big Snake That Point At Sky
When Wigwam Shake." (The bedubbing originated from a loquacious
Iroquois known for her sagacious quotations.)
:)


Well I tried that when I learned how to take a leak no-handed and got
nothing but negativity.

You should have tried the frisbee or the writing instead.
Sometimes I drink stuff neat and sometimes I drink stuff sloppy. -Yet
another difference in the sexes.

Yup - we stop the intake before we make a mess. (well, I do)
Er, how can you tell the difference?

The ones that sit in a tree are high.
The ones that stand on their tail while kicking you in the stomach
aren't friendly.
The others are humans. You can also recognize them by their language;
they speak English (albeit a funny form of it).
We must all decide for ourselves. Unfortunately, if you add up all the
votes, there are more delusional people in the world than there are
people in the world.

Sounds like a lot of mathematically challenged voters.
Now tell me *that* isn't delusional.

That would be lying, so I won't.
My statement wasn't meant to be a condemnation of the institution of
marriage per se but a recommendation for singles to "think before you
link".

That's certainly sound advice.
Too many youthful yokels nowadays don't realize that marriage is
more than a last-ditch effort to get into someone's pants.

Okay, those I call delusional.
It is also a responsibility

Very much so.
that includes the concession of certain freedoms which
one may no longer enjoy except in a clandestine manner with the onus of
having an antagonist always around looking over your shoulder for
possible evidence of actual enjoyment or peace-of-mind outside the
sphere of her personal authority.

That's one way of looking at it...
If this isn't the life you were
expecting with your teaty-sweety, hah hah! -Are you in for a big
surprise!

Sometimes I wonder if these young desillusioned people have ever paid
attention to what their own parents did in their marriage.
-Er, got lost there in my thoughts for a moment. Yeah, marriage is okay
for the right kinds of persons.
Yup.

-Slaves and masochists.
Nope.


That isn't a question I have asked myself recently, but I will
contemplate it and get back to you.

Let me help you.
Plain soap is bought by women for their husbands, so they can complain
about the husband using her soft soap /again/ while there is perfectly
good plain soap right in front of his nose.

That, and by mums like myself, for the kids to wash their hands when
they have played outside. Soft soap doesn't last long in small kids'
hands.
Yeah, an option for nuts. Just because a person has something doesn't
mean he is it.

I didn't say it did.
Really? Nothing. It's just a name like "Tom" or "Bruce" or
"Subhranyamen Chandrasikar".

Except that Tom and Bruce actually mean something.
Tom comes from Thomas which means a twin.
Bruce means woods.
Oh, there was a "neritboias ixtl" or
something like that mentioned in paleo-Incan scrawlings discovered
inside a cave near Chichen Itza, but I think it was simply their pet
name for the outhouse.

Sounds like a reasonable assumption.
-Much like I during bladder release.

Yup, just like that.
Really? I'm impressed.

You're easily impressed.
And here I thought you were only a pretty type-face.

I can be as pretty a type-face as you like. You are just a plain
fixed-width font here btw. Serves the purpose though, so I'm not
complaining.
 
N

Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
Yeah right.


Any English speaking person wanting to learn Dutch should have some
sort of stamina, as well as a healthy supply of throat pastilles.

Stamina? Throat whatever-pastilles-are?

Oh, I get it. When people think you're Dutch, you have to run away
before they throttle you.

Nah, don't worry. I need to learn just enough tulip talk so that when I
take a girl out to a restaurant and the bill comes, I can pull the old
surprise: Dutch-treat routine with some convincing lingo to back it up.
You should have tried the frisbee or the writing instead.

Ow, it's talented but not *that* talented.
Yup - we stop the intake before we make a mess. (well, I do)

Well, I usually stop the intake before I throw up but sometimes that
annoying gas turns out to be more than it seemed.
The ones that sit in a tree are high.
The ones that stand on their tail while kicking you in the stomach
aren't friendly.
The others are humans. You can also recognize them by their language;
they speak English (albeit a funny form of it).

I thought that was the British? In any case, I don't mean to condemn
all Australians for the actions of the majority but the ones I've
encountered really do seem to be egotistical out of all proportion to
the talent and knowledge they so boisterously tout. Perhaps it's simply
that "normal" Australians tend to be less vociferous, tacitly allowing
dissimilar kinsmen to tarnish their reputation in spite of their own
antipathy. I've always thought it appropriate that the kangaroo is the
most noted Australian animal, although, to be fair, even they avoid most
two-legged down-undermen whenever possible.
Sounds like a lot of mathematically challenged voters.

It rally means that popular opinion is truly hard to gauge. For
instance, a woman will vote for a candidate because she likes the hang
of his, uh, suit. A man will vote for the same candidate because he
gives credibility to his wife's opinion on the future of their sex life
should he vote otherwise.
That would be lying, so I won't.


That's certainly sound advice.


Okay, those I call delusional.


Very much so.


That's one way of looking at it...


Sometimes I wonder if these young desillusioned people have ever paid
attention to what their own parents did in their marriage.

When you're young you're full of pheromones which trumps being full of
anything else any day.

.....
Let me help you.

I've heard that before...
Plain soap is bought by women for their husbands, so they can complain
about the husband using her soft soap /again/ while there is perfectly
good plain soap right in front of his nose.

Ah ha! Another sneaky, conniving womanly trick. What if a man wants to
cleanse those delicate, sensitive places where the sun don't shine and a
bar just doesn't quite fit?
That, and by mums like myself, for the kids to wash their hands when
they have played outside. Soft soap doesn't last long in small kids'
hands.

I suppose I should take this opportunity to mention that "soft soap"
also means complimentary words that are insincere and/or gratuitous
often voiced in an attempt to ingratiate oneself with a woman for
purposes which are a mystery to neither.
I didn't say it did.

I didn't say you said it did. Btw, it did what? Oh, this is another
one of them Dutch idioms, isn't it?
Except that Tom and Bruce actually mean something.
Tom comes from Thomas which means a twin.
Bruce means woods.

Ha ha, does a bear **** in the Bruce?
Sounds like a reasonable assumption.

Wish you were one of my dissenting colleagues.
Yup, just like that.

So to sum it all up, we're both whizzes at streaming.
You're easily impressed.

Yep. My naivety is exceeded only by my ability to exploit it.
I can be as pretty a type-face as you like. You are just a plain
fixed-width font here btw. Serves the purpose though, so I'm not
complaining.

It's good to have less longitude in the latitude and more latitude in
the longitude.
 
E

Els

Neredbojias said:

not giving up too easily
Throat whatever-pastilles-are?
lozenges

Oh, I get it. When people think you're Dutch, you have to run away
before they throttle you.

eh.. not quite.
Just try and say "allemachtig, dat is prachtig, niet één
gereedschapskist, maar achtentachtig!" and you'll know what the
pastilles are for.
Nah, don't worry. I need to learn just enough tulip talk so that when I
take a girl out to a restaurant and the bill comes, I can pull the old
surprise: Dutch-treat routine with some convincing lingo to back it up.

Dutch girls are smarter than that/you.
Well, I usually stop the intake before I throw up but sometimes that
annoying gas turns out to be more than it seemed.

You just gave away your age.

[Aussies]
I thought that was the British?

No, the British speak English. It's then the Aussies and South
Africans who sound a bit funny, and it's the 'Mericans who lost the
ability to speak English altogether since they crossed the big pond.
In any case, I don't mean to condemn all Australians

Let's leave it at that.
What if a man wants to
cleanse those delicate, sensitive places where the sun don't shine and a
bar just doesn't quite fit?

Oops, I forgot - you're one of those males who don't know how to use
soap in a normal decent manner. Ever wondered why a woman will always
use soft soap if there is the slightest possibility a man may have
used the plain soap?
I suppose I should take this opportunity to mention that "soft soap"
also means complimentary words that are insincere and/or gratuitous

Ah, you mean those spoken by men who...
often voiced in an attempt to ingratiate oneself with a woman for
purposes which are a mystery to neither.

Yup, those.
I call that see-through-soap. Nothing soft about it.
I didn't say you said it did.
Good.

Btw, it did what?

Nothing. It was used in a negative. Like "didn't".
Oh, this is another one of them Dutch idioms, isn't it?

It isn't.
It's English grammar.
Wish you were one of my dissenting colleagues.

No you don't.
Yep. My naivety is exceeded only by my ability to exploit it.

How old do you think good aged Cognac really is?
 
N

Neredbojias

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
not giving up too easily


eh.. not quite.
Just try and say "allemachtig, dat is prachtig, niet één
gereedschapskist, maar achtentachtig!" and you'll know what the
pastilles are for.

Piece of cake. I said it 250 times in a row and my throat never felt
better.
Dutch girls are smarter than that/you.

If Dutch girls are so smart, why do they call "accidentally" pregnant
girls "in Dutch"?
You just gave away your age.

Yeah? What is it?
[Aussies]
I thought that was the British?

No, the British speak English. It's then the Aussies and South
Africans who sound a bit funny, and it's the 'Mericans who lost the
ability to speak English altogether since they crossed the big pond.
In any case, I don't mean to condemn all Australians

Let's leave it at that.

You're starting to sound like my ex-wife.
Oops, I forgot - you're one of those males who don't know how to use
soap in a normal decent manner. Ever wondered why a woman will always
use soft soap if there is the slightest possibility a man may have
used the plain soap?


Ah, you mean those spoken by men who...


Yup, those.
I call that see-through-soap. Nothing soft about it.

No wonder you have trouble with language.
Nothing. It was used in a negative. Like "didn't".


It isn't.
It's English grammar.

This sounds like one of them circular arguments where someone ends up
saying, "Well I'm the Queen of England!"
No you don't.

Yeah, you're right. Women don't belong on the trail.
How old do you think good aged Cognac really is?

Oh, 2-3 months. I never actually understood the reference, but
everybody uses it so...
 

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