Pithy programming Quotations

R

Roedy Green

I am collecting pithy programming quotations to display at random on
the footers of the Java glossary. Do you have any favourites that
should be included? Feel free to submit ones you composed yourself
you think would be useful/inspiring to fledgling programmers. Here's
your chance at immortality.


Here is what I have so far:


“First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to
turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a
typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a
television. With the World Wide Web, we’ve realized it’s a brochure.”
~ Douglas Adams (born: 1952-03-11 died: 2001-05-11 at age: 49)

“The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing
that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot
possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to
get at or repair.”
~ Douglas Adams (born: 1952-03-11 died: 2001-05-11 at age: 49)

“Besides a mathematical inclination, an exceptionally good mastery of
one’s native tongue is the most vital asset of a competent
programmer.”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)

“How do we convince people that in programming simplicity and clarity
— in short: what mathematicians call elegance — are not a dispensable
luxury, but a crucial matter that decides between success and
failure?”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)

“If you want more effective programmers, you will discover that they
should not waste their time debugging, they should not introduce the
bugs to start with.”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)

“In the good old days physicists repeated each other’s experiments,
just to be sure. Today they stick to FORTRAN, so that they can share
each other's programs, bugs included.”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)

“It is not the task of the University to offer what society asks for,
but to give what society needs.”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)

“It is practically impossible to teach good programming to students
that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they
are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)


In particular, he is talking about Bill Gates.
“Simplicity is a great virtue but it requires hard work to achieve it
and education to appreciate it. And to make matters worse: complexity
sells better.”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)

“Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability,”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)

“Testing shows the presence, not the absence of bugs.”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)

“The question of whether Machines Can Think… is about as relevant as
the question of whether Submarines Can Swim.”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)

“We must be very careful when we give advice to younger people:
sometimes they follow it!”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)
“Write a paper promising salvation, make it a structured something or
a virtual something, or abstract, distributed or higher-order or
applicative and you can almost be certain of having started a new
cult.”
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72)

“If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.”
~ Albert Einstein (born: 1879-03-14 died: 1955-04-18 at age: 76)

“Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand.”
~ George Eliot (born: 1819-11-22 died: 1880-12-22 at age: 61) (Mary
Ann Evans)

“A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing
before.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (born: 1803-05-25 died: 1882-04-27 at age: 78)

“Always do what you are afraid to do.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (born: 1803-05-25 died: 1882-04-27 at age: 78)

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path
and leave a trail.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (born: 1803-05-25 died: 1882-04-27 at age: 78)

“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an
experiment. The more experiments you make the better.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (born: 1803-05-25 died: 1882-04-27 at age: 78)

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (born: 1803-05-25 died: 1882-04-27 at age: 78)

“Don’t worry about where you are. Watch the first derivative.”
translation:
“Don’t worry about how things are. Watch where they are headed.”
~ Fred Green (born: 1913-07-12 died: 1992-04-10 at age: 78) (my Dad,
an electrical engineer)

“I have no doubt that in reality the future will be vastly more
surprising than anything I can imagine. Now my own suspicion is that
the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we
can suppose.”
~ J.B.S. Haldane (born: 1892-11-05 died: 1964-12-01 at age: 72)

“If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then
the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.”
~ Weinberg’s Second Law (born: 1933 age: 76)

“New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any
other reason but because they are not already common.”
~ John Locke (born: 1632-08-29 died: 1704-10-28 at age: 72) 1795-04-20
“To prejudge other men’s notions before we have looked into them is
not to show their darkness but to put out our own eye.”
~ John Locke (born: 1632-08-29 died: 1704-10-28 at age: 72) 1795-04-20
“Almost all programming can be viewed as an exercise in caching.”
~ Terje Mathisen
“Whenever a new discovery is reported to the world, they say first,
‘It is probably not true,’ Then after, when the truth of the new
proposition has been demonstrated beyond question, they say, ‘Yes, it
may be true, but it is not important.’ Finally, when sufficient time
has elapsed to fully evidence its importance, they say, ‘Yes, surely
it is important, but it is no longer new.’”
~ Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (born: 1533 died: 1592 at age: 59)

“When you encounter obstacles, you know what you are doing is
important.”
~ Gottfried Johannes Müller (born: 1914-04-10 age: 95)

“I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to
have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting
myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell
than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered
before me.”
~ Sir Isaac Newton (born: 1642-12-25 died: 1727-03-20 at age: 84)

“I was like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself now
and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary,
whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.”
~ Isaac Newton (born: 1643-01-04 died: 1727-03-31 at age: 84)

“Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one
that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.”
~ George Orwell (born: 1903-06-25 died: 1950-01-21 at age: 46)

“Never discourage anyone… who continually makes progress, no matter
how slow.”
~ Plato (born: 428 BC died: 348 BC at age: 80)

“Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.”
~ Linux prompt

“There is no end to what can be accomplished if you don’t care who
gets the credit.”
~ Art Rennison

“If you don’t constantly refactor and improve your code as you
maintain it, it will deteriorate.”
~ Roedy (born: 1948-02-04 age: 61)

“If you want to serve your species, you must be willing to fail.
People who want personal glory pursue safe mainstream success. But the
most valuable discoveries are off the beaten track, and most of that
prospecting will not pan out. There is no glory for all by a handful
of those who devote themselves to this most valuable exploration.”
~ Roedy (born: 1948-02-04 age: 61)

“It is too obvious to mention, but… If there are several different
ways of doing something, one of them is probably noticeably better. If
you do something more than once a day, it is probably worth a little
experiment and a few moments contemplating the advantages and
disadvantages of doing it each way. Then you can put your choice on
automatic.”
~ Roedy (born: 1948-02-04 age: 61)

“Only Apple has such marketing cachet that they can release a device
who primary effect is to make the user go deaf, and it is hailed as
the innovation of the century.”
~ Roedy (born: 1948-02-04 age: 61)

“When a rat philosopher heads down a tunnel and finds no cheese, he
does not say to himself ‘Rats! I failed’. He says, ‘I have learned
something. I now know one more place where the cheese isn’t.”
~ Roedy (born: 1948-02-04 age: 61)

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being
self-evident.”
~ Arthur Schopenhauer (born: 1788-02-22 died: 1860-09-21 at age: 72)

“All evolution in thought and conduct must at first appear as heresy
and misconduct.”
~ George Bernard Shaw (born: 1856-07-26 died: 1950-11-02 at age: 94)

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
~ George Bernard Shaw (born: 1856-07-26 died: 1950-11-02 at age: 94)

“It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary
depends upon his not understanding it.”
~ Upton Sinclair (born: 1878-09-20 died: 1968-11-25 at age: 90)

“Every invention creates new needs, but the biggest needs are not for
new and more advanced versions of the last invention but for solutions
to the social problems the last invention created.”
~ Philip Slater (born: 1927 age: 82)

“Motors make noise, and that tells you about the feelings and
attitudes that went into it. Something was more important than sensory
pleasure — nobody would invent a chair or dish that smelled bad or
that made horrible noises — why were motors invented noisy? How could
they possibly be considered complete or successful inventions with
this glaring defect? Unless, of course, the aggressive, hostile,
assaultive sound actually served to express some impulse of the
owner.”
~ Philip Slater (born: 1927 age: 82), The Wayward Gate: Science and
the Supernatural

“I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief
sentences. That is the way to write English — it is the modern way and
the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity
creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean
utterly, but kill most of them — then the rest will be valuable. They
weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are
wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit,
once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get.”
~ Mark Twain (born: 1835-11-30 died: 1910-04-21 at age: 74)

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who
are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”
~ Mark Twain (born: 1835-11-30 died: 1910-04-21 at age: 74)

“Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.”
~ Virginia Woolf (born: 1882-01-25 died: 1941-03-28 at age: 59)

“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”
~ Frank Zappa (born: 1940-12-21 died: 1993-12-04 at age: 52)




--
Roedy Green Canadian Mind Products
http://mindprod.com

"We must be very careful when we give advice to younger people: sometimes
they follow it!"
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra, born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72
 
R

Roedy Green

some pearls from Donald Knuth

“A list is only as strong as its weakest link.”
~ Donald Knuth (born: 1938-01-10 age: 71)

“Always remember, however, that there’s usually a simpler and better
way to do something than the first way that pops into your head.”
~ Donald Knuth (born: 1938-01-10 age: 71)

“Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not
tried it.”
~ Donald Knuth (born: 1938-01-10 age: 71)

“I decry the current tendency to seek patents on algorithms. There are
better ways to earn a living than to prevent other people from making
use of one’s contributions to computer science.”
~ Donald Knuth (born: 1938-01-10 age: 71)

“Let us change our traditional attitude to the construction of
programs. Instead of imagining that our main task is to instruct a
computer what to do, let us concentrate rather on explaining to human
beings what we want a computer to do.”
~ Donald Knuth (born: 1938-01-10 age: 71)

“Premature optimization is the root of all evil.”
~ Donald Knuth (born: 1938-01-10 age: 71),

Unfortunately, some have misread this quotation as optimisation is in
itself evil, or even that is it wicked to consider speed when choosing
an algorithm.


“Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer.
Art is everything else we do.”
~ Donald Knuth (born: 1938-01-10 age: 71)

“The process of preparing programs for a digital computer is
especially attractive, not only because it can economically and
scientifically rewarding, but also because it can be an aesthetic
experience much like composing poetry or music.”
~ Donald Knuth (born: 1938-01-10 age: 71)
--
Roedy Green Canadian Mind Products
http://mindprod.com

"We must be very careful when we give advice to younger people: sometimes
they follow it!"
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra, born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72
 
R

Roedy Green

Here is what I have so far:

“A computer would deserve to be called intelligent if it could deceive
a human into believing that it was human.”
~ Alan Turing (born: 1912-06-23 died: 1954-06-07 at age: 41)

“In the time of Galileo it was argued that the texts, ‘And the sun
stood still… and hasted not to go down about a whole day’ Joshua 10:13
and ‘He laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not move at
any time’ Psalms 104:5 were an adequate refutation of the Copernican
theory.”
~ Alan Turing (born: 1912-06-23 died: 1954-06-07 at age: 41)

“Machines take me by surprise with great frequency.”
~ Alan Turing (born: 1912-06-23 died: 1954-06-07 at age: 41)
--
Roedy Green Canadian Mind Products
http://mindprod.com

"We must be very careful when we give advice to younger people: sometimes
they follow it!"
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra, born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72
 
J

Jeffrey H. Coffield

Roedy said:
I am collecting pithy programming quotations to display at random on
the footers of the Java glossary. Do you have any favourites that
should be included? Feel free to submit ones you composed yourself
you think would be useful/inspiring to fledgling programmers. Here's
your chance at immortality.
If I have seen further than others, it is because I stand on the
shoulders of giants. - Isaac Newton

Stupidity is the only natural capital offense - Unknown

Jeff Coffield
 
M

Mike Schilling

"Everyone generalizes from one example. At least, I do." -- Steven
Brust.
 
J

Joshua Cranmer

Roedy said:
“Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not
tried it.”
~ Donald Knuth (born: 1938-01-10 age: 71)

Hmm, I never heard that one before ;-)

Another Knuth quote:
"Any inaccuracies in this index may be explained by the fact that it has
been prepared with the help of a computer." -- Back of the index, TAoCP,
Volume 1, Edition 1, 2nd printing. Yes, the copy I hold in my hands is
older than I.

If you want to get a large list of quotations, go through a copy of
/usr/share/games/fortunes/computers. Some ones that I like that begin
with `A':
[All of these are directly copied from the fortune database. I cannot
vouch for the accuracy of quote or attribution.]

A debugged program is one for which you have not yet found the
conditions that make it fail.
-- Jerry Ogdin
A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program
in than some that do.
-- Dennis M. Ritchie

A large number of installed systems work by fiat. That is, they work
by being declared to work.
-- Anatol Holt
A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.
-- Alan Perlis

A successful [software] tool is one that was used to do something
undreamed of by its author.
-- S. C. Johnson

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a
blunt ax. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
-- Edsger Dijkstra

All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that
the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if
you can't get them together again, there must be a reason. By all
means, do not use a hammer.
-- IBM maintenance manual, 1925

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
-- Rich Kulawiec
[ You might also like "Any sufficiently advanced form of technology is
indistinguishable from magic," but I don't recall who said it ]

Around computers it is difficult to find the correct unit of time to
measure progress. Some cathedrals took a century to complete. Can you
imagine the grandeur and scope of a program that would take as long?
-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982

As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500 programs;
a process that traditionally requires some debugging.
-- USA Today, referring to the Internal Revenue Service
conversion to a new computer system.
 
E

Eric Sosman

Roedy said:
I am collecting pithy programming quotations to display at random on
the footers of the Java glossary. Do you have any favourites that
should be included?

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate.
-- Durante degli Alighieri, ca. 1265 - 1385
 
K

Karl Uppiano

This is my personal favorite, and I live it every day in code that I write,
and in code that I maintain:

There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it
so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to
make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first
method is far more difficult.
-- C.A.R. Hoare

He has lots of these: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/C._A._R._Hoare
 
M

Mike Amling

Roedy said:
I am collecting pithy programming quotations to display at random on
the footers of the Java glossary. Do you have any favourites that
should be included? Feel free to submit ones you composed yourself
you think would be useful/inspiring to fledgling programmers. Here's
your chance at immortality.

"Nothing worthwhile ever goes smoothly." --Mike Amling

--Mike Amling
 
M

Mike Amling

Jeffrey said:
If I have seen further than others, it is because I stand on the
shoulders of giants. - Isaac Newton

I think he was paraphrasing from Didacus Stella: Pigmaei gigantum
humeris impositi plusquam ipsi gigantes vident. Pygmies placed on the
shoulders of giants see more than the giants themselves.

--Mike Amling
 
R

Roedy Green

Thanks everyone. I have now posted your contributions to the
collection posted at:

http://mindprod.com/quote/programming.html

You will also see them sprinkled at random at the bottom of some of
the pages of the Java glossary, changing periodically.

The one at the top of the page at
http://mindprod.com/jgloss/jgloss.html
will change about every 30 minutes.

If you think of some more, great.

Did you ever notice that the computer science greats seem to have a
very clever sense of humour?

--
Roedy Green Canadian Mind Products
http://mindprod.com

"We must be very careful when we give advice to younger people: sometimes
they follow it!"
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra, born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72
 
R

Roedy Green

rossum (who started by learning Algol 68)

Professor Peck, one of the authors of that twisted Algol-68 report was
one of my profs. I pleased him by writing a parser for the Algol 68
declarations in PL/I. rosety rowsety rowsety ...

It is rare to encounter anyone who went near that strange language.
--
Roedy Green Canadian Mind Products
http://mindprod.com

"We must be very careful when we give advice to younger people: sometimes
they follow it!"
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra, born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72
 
R

Roedy Green

"Nothing worthwhile ever goes smoothly." --Mike Amling

--Mike Amling

birthdate? year if you worry about id theft.
--
Roedy Green Canadian Mind Products
http://mindprod.com

"We must be very careful when we give advice to younger people: sometimes
they follow it!"
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra, born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72
 
M

Martin Gregorie

It is rare to encounter anyone who went near that strange language.
I didn't think it particularly strange, though the "Very Informal
Introduction" that started by saying that, as A68 was recursive so was
this introduction so you couldn't understand it until you'd read it all.

IIRC it was the first language to introduce typed references (as distinct
from pointers or function arguments passed by reference), modes (think of
them as methodless classes) and function overloading. I found it fairly
easy to learn and easy to solve complex data handling problems with: at
the time it was the only available HLL that could unpack the George 3
logging records, which were similar to ASN.1 in approach, and still be
readable.

The Algol 68R implementation, dating from around 1976, was and remains
one of the best compilers and runtime packages I've used. The compiler
was very fast and produced clear, concise error messages. The run-time
was also fast and its build-in debugger was ahead of anything available
then or now - it showed your path through the module that crashed (which
branch was taken in a conditional, how many times round each loop
executed, and listed the local variables with values) together with a
stack trace that also showed local variable values. JVM authors take note!
 
D

David Lamb

Roedy said:
It is rare to encounter anyone who went near that strange language.

I think I still have the formal spec, with its wierd context-sensitive
grammar, sitting on a shelf in my office.
 
R

Roedy Green

I think I still have the formal spec, with its wierd context-sensitive
grammar, sitting on a shelf in my office.

Read aloud, it sounds a bit like Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
--
Roedy Green Canadian Mind Products
http://mindprod.com

"We must be very careful when we give advice to younger people: sometimes
they follow it!"
~ Edsger Wybe Dijkstra, born: 1930-05-11 died: 2002-08-06 at age: 72
 
W

Wojtek

Roedy Green wrote :
I am collecting pithy programming quotations to display at random on
the footers of the Java glossary. Do you have any favourites that
should be included? Feel free to submit ones you composed yourself
you think would be useful/inspiring to fledgling programmers. Here's
your chance at immortality.

Unknown attribution, though I try to include it sonewhere in every app
I write:

A programmer is passed off as an exacting expert on the basis of being
able to turn out, after innumerable debugging sessions, an infinite
series of incomprehensible answers calculated with micrometric
precision from vague assumptions based on debatable figures taken from
inconclusive documents of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious
reliability and questionable mentality for the purpose of annoying and
confounding the hopelessly defenceless department that was unfortunate
enough to have asked for the information in the first place
 

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