help with changing C light bulb (regulars please read)

[Chris Hills]

A lesson in Posting

How many C.L.C group posters does it take to change a C light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is
"lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in
violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take
this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and
lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to
buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this
technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to
this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all
headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions
about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again....

pls....
how cn I rite a C programs too prnt his on a PC use MS VC++ pls snd
code by email 4 Monday moring as I have a deadline


Can't claim credit for this it was from
http://www.computerjokes.net/216.htm
 

 

[Flash Gordon]

A lesson in Posting

How many C.L.C group posters does it take to change a C light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again....

pls....
how cn I rite a C programs too prnt his on a PC use MS VC++ pls snd
code by email 4 Monday moring as I have a deadline

int main(double i)
{
int *q=(int*)(void*)(double*)(int)(i + *q++);
*++q=(double)(int)--q;
}

I've even made sure that is compiles without warning or error on my
version of gcc invoked "gcc -ansi -pedantic t.c" so it *must* be valid C.

Well, it might do what you asked, undefined behaviour is like that ;-)

Can't claim credit for this it was from
http://www.computerjokes.net/216.htm

Still amusing though.

 

[mensanator]

A lesson in Posting

You missed one.

How many C.L.C group posters does it take to change a C light bulb?

1 post from a darkness advocate

 

[websnarf]

A lesson in Posting

How many C.L.C group posters does it take to change a C light bulb?

1 to give the instructions from the back of the light bulb box in an
authoritative sounding tone, even though they have never changed a
light bulb themselves.

3 to post instructions for doing it which are obviously wrong, then
when this is pointed out claim that the original question asked
something else that it didn't.

1 to state that this problem is not appropriate for the C language and
therefore you should change languages to solve it.

1 to give instructions for changing the light bulb which neglects to
dispose of the old light bulb.

5 to give instructions for changing the light bulb but not check that
the item you are trying to screw into the socket isn't a fork or
something like that.

2 to ask why you need to change the light bulb, and why you cannot
simply continue to work in the dark?

2 to give answers in C++.

16 people to respond to the above people with vitriol.

3 people to respond to the above people with vitriol for top-posting.

2 people to respond to the above people with vitriol for using Google
Groups.

 

[Chris Hills]

You missed one.


1 post from a darkness advocate

Or in our case a disciple of FORTH


There is the old joke of how many Microsoft people does it take to
change a light bulb?
None.

MS declares darkness the new standard....

 

[David Wade]

You missed one.


1 post from a darkness advocate

What about the 5 who will tell the user that they ought to change from that
obsolete K&R light bulb....

 

[Jonathan Pritchard]

There is the old joke of how many Microsoft people does it take to
change a light bulb?
None.

MS declares darkness the new standard....

Very funny indeed, and also very true. Microsoft and their good old
vendor lock-in.

 

[Richard Bos]

A lesson in Posting

How many C.L.C group posters does it take to change a C light bulb?

Zero.

Changing a light bulb is a hardware problem.

Richard

 

[Chris Hills]

Zero.

Changing a light bulb is a hardware problem.

Richard

12th line down was....

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take
this discussion to a lightbulb group

 

[Richard Bos]

12th line down was....

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take
this discussion to a lightbulb group

*Sigh*

One. To misunderstand all posts.

HTH; HAND.

Richard

 

[osmium]

A lesson in Posting

I think there is one still missing that I *really* hate.

7 To ask "What book are you using that doesn't answer this?"

 

[Ben Pfaff]

How many C.L.C group posters does it take to change a C light bulb?

Perhaps we should bring back the clc drinking game:
http://groups.google.com/group/comp...cf6130f2178/baca4a808af1edc9#baca4a808af1edc9

 

[Richard Heathfield]

goose said:

<snipped all the numbers>

Since this is clc, home of the pedantic, I would
add:
1, to point out that "replace" is the word you
are looking for. The lightbulb, after all, is not
changed in any way by an act of replacement.

Even if you don't count the change in spatial position and the change in
relative position compared to its socket, surely the act of removing the
bulb from the socket is bound to result in a few atoms being scraped off by
frictional force during the rotation of the bulb. That would certainly
constitute a change.

 

[Kenneth Brody]

<snipped all the numbers>

Since this is clc, home of the pedantic, I would
add:
1, to point out that "replace" is the word you
are looking for. The lightbulb, after all, is not
changed in any way by an act of replacement.

Hence the version:

Q: How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Just one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change first.

--
+-------------------------+--------------------+-----------------------+
| Kenneth J. Brody | www.hvcomputer.com | #include |
| kenbrody/at\spamcop.net | www.fptech.com | <std_disclaimer.h> |
+-------------------------+--------------------+-----------------------+
Don't e-mail me at: <mailto:[email protected]>

 

[Michael Mair]

goose said:

Even if you don't count the change in spatial position and the change in
relative position compared to its socket, surely the act of removing the
bulb from the socket is bound to result in a few atoms being scraped off by
frictional force during the rotation of the bulb. That would certainly
constitute a change.

This sounds entirely too implementation specific to me; if anything,
there are lightbulbs that can be _modified_ and those which are,
by virtue of "const", not modifiable. Replacing the lightbulb does
not necessarily constitute a modification of the lightbulb.
Honestly, Richard, where did all your years of standard learning
go? Talking about changing lightbulbs mixes replacing and modifying
lightbulbs and IMO is on one level with talking about global
lightbulbs.


SCNR
Michael

 

[goose]

A lesson in Posting

How many C.L.C group posters does it take to change a C light bulb?

<snipped all the numbers>

Since this is clc, home of the pedantic, I would
add:
1, to point out that "replace" is the word you
are looking for. The lightbulb, after all, is not
changed in any way by an act of replacement.

goose,

 

[mark.bergman]

How many C.L.C group posters does it take to change a C light bulb?

One to post bug-ridden instructions.

47 to flame for not posting tested code.


Mark

 

[CBFalconer]

One to post bug-ridden instructions.

47 to flame for not posting tested code.

You missed a few:

10 complaints about top-posting
15 complaints about void main
8 complaints about unintelligible abbreviations.
7 complaints about cross-posting
3 complaints about complaints

 

[Richard Bos]

You missed a few:

10 complaints about top-posting
15 complaints about void main
8 complaints about unintelligible abbreviations.
7 complaints about cross-posting
3 complaints about complaints

And a spammer in a pear tree?

Richard