Richard Heathfield's lie

[spinoza1111]

<snip nonsense>

I wonder if you will ever amount to anything productive instead of continuously

I wonder why you pose as a Father,
Using canned phrases unexamined,
When you know so little about me.
I am the author of a programming book,
With thirty years of experience,
Back in the day when we were allowed to get gay,
And actually write code,
Instead of sitting on bubble butts
And criticising better men.

wasting your time polluting a series of newsgroups with your trolling and series of
absurd personal attacks.

Use your common sense
It's called, self-defence.

 

[spinoza1111]

I have no clue.

BTW, long-time participants will probably find this amusing:  I was regaling
one of my coworkers with hilarious stories from comp.lang.c, and he suddenly

Don't have any real work to do, I see:
Another eunuch of the new world order,
Sittin' around with the guys of the office,
Having found his quota of bugs for the day,
Laughing at people, like a little boy.

 

[Seebs]

I suppose we should now prepare ourselves for yet another attempted
character assassination, on Chris Torek this time.

I'd suggest the best target would be that he wears glasses. If that's
not good for a week or two of mockery, I don't know what is.

(Unless my memory's wrong and he doesn't.)

-s

 

[jamm]

I wonder why you pose as a Father,
Using canned phrases unexamined,
When you know so little about me.
I am the author of a programming book,
With thirty years of experience,
Back in the day when we were allowed to get gay,
And actually write code,
Instead of sitting on bubble butts
And criticising better men.


Use your common sense
It's called, self-defence.

If you don't like C and the people who use it so much, then maybe you should
learn BASIC. And hangout with some BASIC users. You'll learn neat things
like:

10 PRINT "spinoza WTH are you talking about!";
20 GOTO 10

--
*From the 1966 TV series:*
Robin: You can't get away from Batman that easy!
Batman: Easily.
Robin: Easily.
Batman: Good grammer is essential, Robin.

 

[Ian Collins]

I suppose we should now prepare ourselves for yet another attempted
character assassination, on Chris Torek this time.

Or update your kill file and ignore his nonsense.

 

[spinoza1111]

If you don't like C and the people who use it so much, then maybe you should
learn BASIC. And hangout with some BASIC users. You'll learn neat things
like:

10 PRINT "spinoza WTH are you talking about!";
20 GOTO 10

--
*From the 1966 TV series:*
Robin: You can't get away from Batman that easy!
Batman: Easily.
Robin: Easily.
Batman: Good grammer is essential, Robin.

It is all rather low-level to mistake fandom for knowledge or even
knowledge's ersatz, "expertise". Knowing something as a scientific
matter has nothing to do with whether you like it.

 

[spinoza1111]

I suppose we should now prepare ourselves for yet another attempted
character assassination, on Chris Torek this time.

Excuse me, the character assassination started when I was discussing
OO in comp.programming, and Chris Torek started an autistic and
childish rant about Visual Basic efficiency that was off-topic.

 

[spinoza1111]

I'd suggest the best target would be that he wears glasses.  If that's
not good for a week or two of mockery, I don't know what is.

Seebach, you're the bully. You started in on Schildt out of envy and
you call Apress colleagues morons. Some of us defend ourselves. Quit
whining.

 

[spinoza1111]

Or update your kill file and ignore his nonsense.

The age old question being how these guys who claim
To have Killed the Troll can be so off their game
As to see the Torment of the Troll, the blood in the water,
And with such boyish enthusiasm and such hards on are drawn back to
the slaughter
Like German soldiers in World War II
Goggling at the shooting of the Jew
Or goggle-eyed rednecks at the lynch.
It's a cinch,
If you come in here and say kill him
You are full of hatred and malice
But because you're a coward you won't admit it.
They're not interested in peace, their metaphor is kill
But they're too cowardly to do so with a will.
Instead they pompously insert
Pencil dicks into the discussion
Treating this newsgroup as their own personal glory hole
By saying, just kill that asshole.

 

[Colonel Harlan Sanders]

Retract this lie, Heathfield, or I swear to God I will see you in
court.

Here we are, two months later
Nilges has not only failed to carry out his ludicrous legal threats
against Heathfield, he's gone on to make a similar empty threat
against Seebach:

I'm beginning to wonder if you are truly an evil man.

You can have countless bugs and be excused, it seems to me, and your
pretense of humility is unlinked to any charity (and therefore is not
humility), since you charged Schildt with "hundreds" of bugs and
coined a foul word out of his patronym, and you've completely
misrepresented my work, which is vastly superior to yours even though
I don't fucking know C that much, in hopes that newbies and managers
won't do due diligence, and just chance upon your wild and
unsubtantiated claims, your libelous and criminal claims, concerning
my competence.

But dig it, puke: attorneys WILL do due diligence. And your employer
(and Apress) are not going to be amused if they are involved in the
mess you made.

Looking forward to the next case, Ed.

Is there such a thing as a inverse class action?
You could save a lot of time and just lay charges against everyone who
disrespects you or looks at you funny in the street. String them all
up, it's only what they deserve.

Or you can fantasise how you'd snub Seebach at a party. I'm sure his
ears are burning about that.

 

[Seebs]

"I could not resist writing to you, if only to say this to you: if you
think *you've* got problems, please bear in mind that this guy has my
*phone number*."

I read this to Beloved Spouse, who responded with dumbfounded amazement
followed by a great deal of laughter. Very nicely done.

-s

 

[spinoza1111]

Here we are, two months later
Nilges has not only failed to carry out his ludicrous legal threats
against Heathfield, he's gone on to make a similar empty threat
against Seebach:

Actually, I *did* eventually get a letter from a lawyer. I have no idea
whether it's Mr Nilges's lawyer, but I suppose it's not impossible. It
goes like this:

"Dear Mr Heathfield

"My client, whom I shall not name in this letter, claims that you are a
Nazi Fascist Ansi-Semite [sic] MI5 Operative, and that you are damaging
his reputation by laughing your socks off whenever he posts source code
to Usenet. He further claims that you are constantly attempting to
deceive people into thinking that  he's incompetent by pointing out vast
swathes of technical and logical errors in his articles to which he has
no adequate response, technical or otherwise. And he further claims that
you are a bully, a thug, and a sexist racist homophobic pig who should
be hounded out of comp.lang.c because it's no more than you deserve, you
white-assed fag.

"I could not resist writing to you, if only to say this to you: if you
think *you've* got problems, please bear in mind that this guy has my
*phone number*."

--
Richard Heathfield <http://www.cpax.org.uk>
Email: -http://www. +rjh@
"Usenet is a strange place" - dmr 29 July 1999
Sig line vacant - apply within

This is a lie. Of course, I never sent this, nor wrote it, and you
lack my mastery of English. It's a cut and paste job. Wow, thanks for
material for my real lawyer.

 

[spinoza1111]

I read this to Beloved Spouse, who responded with dumbfounded amazement
followed by a great deal of laughter.  Very nicely done.

We had fed the heart on fantasies,
The heart's grown brutal from the fare;
More substance in our enmities
Than in our love; O honey-bees,
Come build in the empty house of the stare.

My contempt for you is almost matched by my contempt for people who
see this and don't call Seebach out.

 

[Chris M. Thomasson]

Here we are, two months later
Nilges has not only failed to carry out his ludicrous legal threats
against Heathfield, he's gone on to make a similar empty threat
against Seebach:

Actually, I *did* eventually get a letter from a lawyer. I have no idea
whether it's Mr Nilges's lawyer, but I suppose it's not impossible. It
goes like this:

"Dear Mr Heathfield [...]


This is a lie. Of course, I never sent this, nor wrote it, and you
lack my mastery of English. It's a cut and paste job. Wow, thanks for
material for my real lawyer.

How much will your lawyer charge you to read this?

 

[Seebs]

How much will your lawyer charge you to read this?

And will the lawyer be aware of the general history of rulings suggesting
that obvious satire is not generally actionable?

-s

 

[Colonel Harlan Sanders]

It would be a full-time occupation to document all of Nilges' lies,
but this one is a gem:

However, it's plain that I'm a piker when it comes to being offensive.
See Heathfield's post in the thread Edward Nilges' Lie.

Nilges' uncharacteristic modesty betrays him. No one here even comes
close to being so consistently and grossly offensive as Nilges.

Because he cannot code properly and doesn't know computer science, and
is an uncultivated boor who works as a temp, he thinks it's cute to
forge letters said to be from me, a violation of the law.

Julienne and blm, you are enablers, because you don't complain to him
about his behavior: like many women in this type of situation, you're
a little dazzled by the thug and his transgressions; perhaps an
atavistic part of you is not a little excited by blood, metaphorical
or otherwise. I am using this newsgroup as intended and even Seebach
has conceded that these threads have been useful and productive. I
start them, whereas Heathfield and Seebach endeavor to destroy them
because they're not qualified to participate on a level with people
like Navia and Willem, let alone me (100% bug rate in strlen, absurd
linked list, heap a DOS term, is not a programmer per se, etc).

Julienne, blm, and Malcolm, I shall not participate in these newsgroup
until you find it in yourselves to complain to Heathfield and Seebach
in the thread Edward Nilges' lie where Heathfield posts a letter he
says is from my lawyer: this was a criminal act on his part. I will
not read or post to these newsgroups, and you people can return to
your regularly scheduled programming.

Nilges promises to leave a newsgroup, or Usenet, almost as often as
he promises to sue someone for libel. Sadly his resolve rarely lasts
for more than a half hour.

You may email me at (e-mail address removed). But what I would most
appreciate is copies of your post or emails to Seebach and Heathfield,
asking them to desist. This type of behavior is the norm in groups of
fair and decent people.

Otherwise, I am wasting my time here.

Malcolm, Julienne, blm: unless I hear from you by Monday March 8,
under advice of my counsel, genuine letters are going this week to
Seebach's employer and my publisher (who is also Seebach's publisher)
concerning his behavior. In addition, a letter is going to SAMS
concerning Heathfield.

Another deadline! Wonderful.

My bet: He has never and will never follow this up in the real world.
And he has no "counsel".

Though it's slightly OT on the subject of Nilges' lies, it's hard not
to be awestruck by the depth of his hypocrisy in making an issue about
a parody that echoes his own words, that says nothing about him at
all, while browsing his recent output will find it full of vicious,
direct personal insults and what is certainly libellous statements
(not that anyone else would actually think of trying to take them to
court).

 

[Seebs]

My bet: He has never and will never follow this up in the real world.
And he has no "counsel".

I wouldn't be totally surprised if he contacted the publishers, because
doing that is cheap and easy. I really don't feel a great deal of concern
on the issue, though.

-s

 

[William Hughes]

Colonel Harlan Sanders wrote:
On Sun, 27 Dec 2009 06:49:56 -0800 (PST),spinoza1111
Retract this lie, Heathfield, or I swear to God I will see you in
court.
Here we are, two months later
Nilges has not only failed to carry out his ludicrous legal threats
against Heathfield, he's gone on to make a similar empty threat
against Seebach:
Actually, I *did* eventually get a letter from a lawyer. I have no idea
whether it's Mr Nilges's lawyer, but I suppose it's not impossible. It
goes like this:
"Dear Mr Heathfield [...]

This is a lie. Of course, I never sent this, nor wrote it, and you
lack my mastery of English. It's a cut and paste job. Wow, thanks for
material for my real lawyer.

How much will your lawyer charge you to read this?

If Nilges were stupid enough to show his lawyer the article, the lawyer
will do at least three things:

(a) find it extremely hard not to laugh;
(b) point out to his client that, since it doesn't name anyone, it's
hard to see how it could damage anyone's reputation or constitute a
misrepresentation

Well, explicit language is not always needed:

Hey, I didn't threaten him or nuthin'
I just said it would be a shame if the
shop burned down.

I think it would be ruled that it was obvious who
the parody was aimed at. On the other hand since
you do not attribute anything to Nilges that he
has not said, it is hard to see this as actionable.

-William Hughes

 

[William Hughes]

And will the lawyer be aware of the general history of rulings suggesting
that obvious satire is not generally actionable?

Rulings where? There is a great deal of uncertainty as
to where, if there was a tort, the tort took place,
(United Kingdom, where the most important servers are,
where the message was read ...) The first thing the lawyer
should do after cleaning his desk, is to determine the
best place to bring a claim.

- William Hughes

 

[Seebs]

Rulings where? There is a great deal of uncertainty as
to where, if there was a tort, the tort took place,
(United Kingdom, where the most important servers are,
where the message was read ...) The first thing the lawyer
should do after cleaning his desk, is to determine the
best place to bring a claim.

I'm not aware of any likely jurisdiction where judges would take seriously
a defamation claim against an obvious bit of satire. I've never heard of
such a case going anywhere. My guess is that any threats Nilges actually
sends will be resolved much along the lines of Arkell v. Pressdram.

-s