Z
Zonker Bill
Five Tips for Spotting an Undercover Cop
http://tinyurl.com/3fj6pfv
Posted 4/20/2011 at 9:00 am by Adam Tod Brown
Please forgive us if our short term memory is a little lacking, but we
could swear we looked at the calendar this morning and noticed that
today is 4/20. Also, we could swear we looked at the calendar this
morning and noticed that today is 4/20.
Weed smokers of the world rejoice, it’s a celebration! As you bask in
the glow of copious amounts of weed consumption today, as always, make
sure to do so responsibly. We don’t mean “responsibly” in the “drink
too much booze and you’ll wind up in a coma” sense. That’s not really
a problem with the weed. Smoke too much and the worst that will happen
is you’ll devour an entire large pizza and fall asleep for the night
by 8pm. What we’re referring to, of course, are police.
Nothing kills a good buzz like an undercover cop with too much time on
their hands striking up a conversation with you out of the blue about
what you’re smoking. So keep your glassy eyes peeled, and use these
handy tips for spotting an undercover cop while you celebrate 4/20
today.
Check Out the Car
In a perfect world, all police would be required to drive around in
1992 Crown Victorias with gigantic antennas and a visible gun rack in
the back seat. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. These days,
undercover cops are tooling around in anything from minivans to
Mustangs. So how do you spot a car that’s outfitted for the sole
purpose of harshing your mellow?
Fortunately, police need lots of special equipment in their cruisers
to do their jobs effectively. If you look hard enough, you can see it.
AOL, of all places, has a great guide to spotting undercover cop cars
on their auto blog. Here are some highlights:
On unmarked cars, lights are often placed in the grill, front
windshield and exterior mirrors. Even if they aren’t turned on, you
should be able to see them provided there is a sufficient amount of
light.
Look for stubby police antennas on the trunk lid and more lights in
the rear windshield.
Each state has special license plates that are issued to government
workers. Learn yours. If you see it on the car that’s pulling up to
the spot where you’re lighting up, swallow that weed like a
professional. [PHOTO]
Pay Attention to Details
Here’s the thing about undercover cops…they’re really good at blending
in with the environment they’re in. Anyone who’s ever been enjoying a
joint on a park bench only to have a guy in flip-flops and a Hawaiian
shirt flashing a badge in their face out of the blue will surely
attest to that.
But everybody makes mistakes, police are no different. Does that shady
weed dealer at your local park with the three day facial hair growth,
unkempt hair and filthy clothes also have impeccably manicured
fingernails? Is he wearing a beat to shit army jacket and four hundred
dollar Armani jeans? If so, you probably shouldn’t buy your weed from
him.
Actually, you shouldn’t just walk up to anyone you don’t know and try
to buy drugs from them. But if it’s come to that, at least watch for
those little inconsistencies that might indicate that they aren’t who
they say they are.
Don’t Bother Asking
There’s a popular myth that claims if you ask an undercover cop if
they’re a cop, they have to tell you if they are. Not true, says Barry
Cooper, a former undercover cop who came around to the good side and
now gets paid to tell people how to spot and avoid being busted by
undercover cops.
In fact, he says this misconception actually helps law enforcement:
Many times as an undercover, suspects would ask if I were a cop and
explain I must tell if I were. I would respond, “No. I’m not a cop and
you are correct. I would have to tell you if I were.” The suspects
were always comfortable with this answer and would sometimes comment
on how cool the “must tell” law was.
So that’s a bummer. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t mention the
police at all if you think an undercover is in your midst…
Did You Hear the News?
Did the police make a significant bust in your area recently? If so,
mention it. Undercover cops are trained to stay relaxed in high
pressure situations, but by bringing up some especially noteworthy
piece of police news, you’ve just entered something into the mix that
normally isn’t present…their ego. Try mentioning that you don’t see
what the big deal is about the bust that was all over the news last
week and then, just like in poker, wait for the tell.
Nobody likes to have their pride injured, and that’s exactly what
you’re doing. If the guy hoping to sell you a pound of kush suddenly
snaps at you about how that bust was a HUGE deal, you’re probably
dealing with a cop. Watch for any reaction that strikes you as out of
the ordinary. If your gut is telling you to flee the scene, do it.
Hits From the Bong
This tidbit is especially for the dealers out there, and once again,
it comes from former undercover agent Barry Cooper. If you suspect
that the person you’re selling to is a cop, offer them a bong hit. Not
a joint, not a blunt, not a hitter…a bong hit.
Why? Because undercover cops are strictly prohibited from actually
partaking in drugs while in the field. Some are even tested
immediately after returning from their crime fighting missions. That
said, they are trained to hit a joint or some other lightweight toking
apparatus without taking any smoke into their lungs. They just pass it
through their nose and back out into the air. What a waste!
But anyone who knows anything knows that hitting a bong without using
your lungs is literally impossible. No respectable drug purchaser is
going to pass on the opportunity to sample what you’re selling prior
to paying for it, be it in a joint, a bong or a hollowed out apple. If
you offer up your intricately handcrafted, dragon shaped bong and they
refuse, something is amiss. Tell them to kick rocks and live to sell
the good stuff another day.
http://tinyurl.com/3fj6pfv
Posted 4/20/2011 at 9:00 am by Adam Tod Brown
Please forgive us if our short term memory is a little lacking, but we
could swear we looked at the calendar this morning and noticed that
today is 4/20. Also, we could swear we looked at the calendar this
morning and noticed that today is 4/20.
Weed smokers of the world rejoice, it’s a celebration! As you bask in
the glow of copious amounts of weed consumption today, as always, make
sure to do so responsibly. We don’t mean “responsibly” in the “drink
too much booze and you’ll wind up in a coma” sense. That’s not really
a problem with the weed. Smoke too much and the worst that will happen
is you’ll devour an entire large pizza and fall asleep for the night
by 8pm. What we’re referring to, of course, are police.
Nothing kills a good buzz like an undercover cop with too much time on
their hands striking up a conversation with you out of the blue about
what you’re smoking. So keep your glassy eyes peeled, and use these
handy tips for spotting an undercover cop while you celebrate 4/20
today.
Check Out the Car
In a perfect world, all police would be required to drive around in
1992 Crown Victorias with gigantic antennas and a visible gun rack in
the back seat. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. These days,
undercover cops are tooling around in anything from minivans to
Mustangs. So how do you spot a car that’s outfitted for the sole
purpose of harshing your mellow?
Fortunately, police need lots of special equipment in their cruisers
to do their jobs effectively. If you look hard enough, you can see it.
AOL, of all places, has a great guide to spotting undercover cop cars
on their auto blog. Here are some highlights:
On unmarked cars, lights are often placed in the grill, front
windshield and exterior mirrors. Even if they aren’t turned on, you
should be able to see them provided there is a sufficient amount of
light.
Look for stubby police antennas on the trunk lid and more lights in
the rear windshield.
Each state has special license plates that are issued to government
workers. Learn yours. If you see it on the car that’s pulling up to
the spot where you’re lighting up, swallow that weed like a
professional. [PHOTO]
Pay Attention to Details
Here’s the thing about undercover cops…they’re really good at blending
in with the environment they’re in. Anyone who’s ever been enjoying a
joint on a park bench only to have a guy in flip-flops and a Hawaiian
shirt flashing a badge in their face out of the blue will surely
attest to that.
But everybody makes mistakes, police are no different. Does that shady
weed dealer at your local park with the three day facial hair growth,
unkempt hair and filthy clothes also have impeccably manicured
fingernails? Is he wearing a beat to shit army jacket and four hundred
dollar Armani jeans? If so, you probably shouldn’t buy your weed from
him.
Actually, you shouldn’t just walk up to anyone you don’t know and try
to buy drugs from them. But if it’s come to that, at least watch for
those little inconsistencies that might indicate that they aren’t who
they say they are.
Don’t Bother Asking
There’s a popular myth that claims if you ask an undercover cop if
they’re a cop, they have to tell you if they are. Not true, says Barry
Cooper, a former undercover cop who came around to the good side and
now gets paid to tell people how to spot and avoid being busted by
undercover cops.
In fact, he says this misconception actually helps law enforcement:
Many times as an undercover, suspects would ask if I were a cop and
explain I must tell if I were. I would respond, “No. I’m not a cop and
you are correct. I would have to tell you if I were.” The suspects
were always comfortable with this answer and would sometimes comment
on how cool the “must tell” law was.
So that’s a bummer. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t mention the
police at all if you think an undercover is in your midst…
Did You Hear the News?
Did the police make a significant bust in your area recently? If so,
mention it. Undercover cops are trained to stay relaxed in high
pressure situations, but by bringing up some especially noteworthy
piece of police news, you’ve just entered something into the mix that
normally isn’t present…their ego. Try mentioning that you don’t see
what the big deal is about the bust that was all over the news last
week and then, just like in poker, wait for the tell.
Nobody likes to have their pride injured, and that’s exactly what
you’re doing. If the guy hoping to sell you a pound of kush suddenly
snaps at you about how that bust was a HUGE deal, you’re probably
dealing with a cop. Watch for any reaction that strikes you as out of
the ordinary. If your gut is telling you to flee the scene, do it.
Hits From the Bong
This tidbit is especially for the dealers out there, and once again,
it comes from former undercover agent Barry Cooper. If you suspect
that the person you’re selling to is a cop, offer them a bong hit. Not
a joint, not a blunt, not a hitter…a bong hit.
Why? Because undercover cops are strictly prohibited from actually
partaking in drugs while in the field. Some are even tested
immediately after returning from their crime fighting missions. That
said, they are trained to hit a joint or some other lightweight toking
apparatus without taking any smoke into their lungs. They just pass it
through their nose and back out into the air. What a waste!
But anyone who knows anything knows that hitting a bong without using
your lungs is literally impossible. No respectable drug purchaser is
going to pass on the opportunity to sample what you’re selling prior
to paying for it, be it in a joint, a bong or a hollowed out apple. If
you offer up your intricately handcrafted, dragon shaped bong and they
refuse, something is amiss. Tell them to kick rocks and live to sell
the good stuff another day.