But I get bonus points for being on topic...
Memo: Bill Gates To Sabotage Linux Using "Time-Travel" Machine
http://www.linuxinsider.com//perl/story/33215.html
....still, this appears to be only 1 prong of a 10-pronged overall
scheme. Witness (sorry for lack of URL):
"Today Microsoft announced that it has successfully acquired the assets of
the Free Software Foundation, which primarily consist of trademarks and
domain registrations, as well as the ownership rights for all of the 'Gnu'
'Gnome' and 'Debian' source. Microsoft plans to 'lock in' all of the
existing 'Open Source' development at this point, and will create a new
'branch' of development consisting of proprietary source, as already exists
with their other software products and operating systems."
"Mr. Bill Gates was quoted as saying `We at Microsoft feel that the best and
brightest programmers, who have all been hired by now at Microsoft, are the
only ones qualified to produce reliable operating systems. We also feel
that 'Open Source' operating systems and software can be more easily
compromised than conventional software, for the simple reason that you would
need to decompile and reverse-engineer a 'Closed Source' application or
operating system before you could locate or learn to exploit any potential
vulnerabilities.` Yet when asked about the recent incidents involving
exploits against Microsoft's software, the only response was `No Comment.`"
"Attempts to contact Richard Stallman, founder of the Free Software
Foundation and the GNU Project, have not been forthcoming. Electronic mail
and phone calls have gone unanswered. Rumors exist that Richard Stallman
may have in fact disappeared, and his whereabouts are being intentionally
withheld until the merger has been completed. However, an undisclosed
source has reported seeing him being held captive in a basement at the home
of a Columbian drug lord."