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[Els]

Neredbojias wrote:

[throat pastilles]

Piece of cake. I said it 250 times in a row and my throat never felt
better.

You pronounced it the wrong way.

If Dutch girls are so smart, why do they call "accidentally" pregnant
girls "in Dutch"?

Never heard that expression, but maybe it's cause the Dutch cap
doesn't work that well?

Yeah? What is it?

23.7 physically and an alternating 17.3 and 30.1 mentally.
(rough estimates)

You're starting to sound like my ex-wife.

Don't all women?

No wonder you have trouble with language.

Since when do I have trouble with language?

This sounds like one of them circular arguments where someone ends up
saying, "Well I'm the Queen of England!"

Nah... you? A queen? I find that hard to believe.

Yeah, you're right. Women don't belong on the trail.

What trail?

Oh, 2-3 months. I never actually understood the reference, but
everybody uses it so...

Good aged Cognac is older than you are ;-)

 

[Neredbojias]

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

Neredbojias wrote:

[throat pastilles]

Piece of cake. I said it 250 times in a row and my throat never felt
better.

You pronounced it the wrong way.

People were starting to give me strange looks.

Never heard that expression, but maybe it's cause the Dutch cap
doesn't work that well?

Well, it's an older expression, but if Dutch caps are made of the same
material as their shoes, they wouldn't work well on anybody.

23.7 physically and an alternating 17.3 and 30.1 mentally.
(rough estimates)

Hell, my dentures are older than that.

Don't all women?

Only if they talk.

Since when do I have trouble with language?

Hey, let me say right now that you speak English about a million times
better than I speak Dutch and a lot better than most non-English-
speaking-natives speak it. Indeed, you speak it very much as would an
indigenous American woman, and therein lies the trouble. American men
have developed a sort of automatic filter for the vagaries of womanspeak
that's rather difficult to turn off even when said speak originates from
someone who knows what they're talking about but sounds like the drivel
the men are inured to.

Nah... you? A queen? I find that hard to believe.

Every man has his price.

What trail?

The Santa Fe trail. Strictly man territory.

Good aged Cognac is older than you are ;-)

No wonder it tastes like petroleum distillate.

 

[Els]

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

Neredbojias wrote:

[throat pastilles]

Just try and say "allemachtig, dat is prachtig, niet één
gereedschapskist, maar achtentachtig!" and you'll know what the
pastilles are for.

Piece of cake. I said it 250 times in a row and my throat never felt
better.

You pronounced it the wrong way.

People were starting to give me strange looks.

They should have handed you throat pastilles instead.

Well, it's an older expression, but if Dutch caps are made of the same
material as their shoes, they wouldn't work well on anybody.


Hell, my dentures are older than that.




Only if they talk.

I didn't talk - I wrote.

Hey, let me say right now that you speak English about a million times
better than I speak Dutch and a lot better than most non-English-
speaking-natives speak it. Indeed, you speak it very much as would an
indigenous American woman,

Do indigenous Americans speak differently from 'regular' Americans?

and therein lies the trouble. American men
have developed a sort of automatic filter for the vagaries of womanspeak
that's rather difficult to turn off even when said speak originates from
someone who knows what they're talking about but sounds like the drivel
the men are inured to.

Ah, you were using the plural 'you', as in 'you women'.
Assuming I know what I'm talking about - how about you giving me some
pointers to make it not sound like said drivel?

Every man has his price.

Probably, but I'm not paying.

The Santa Fe trail. Strictly man territory.
Not.
http://cakili.image.pbase.com/image/41183780.jpg


No wonder it tastes like petroleum distillate.

<g>
It does /not/ taste like that! (Well, I've never really tried
petroleum distillate, so I'm guessing)

Cognac is kept in oak barrels for up to 50 years. Minimum age is 2
years though.

 

[Neredbojias]

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

Neredbojias wrote:

[throat pastilles]
Just try and say "allemachtig, dat is prachtig, niet één
gereedschapskist, maar achtentachtig!" and you'll know what the
pastilles are for.

Piece of cake. I said it 250 times in a row and my throat never felt
better.

You pronounced it the wrong way.

People were starting to give me strange looks.

They should have handed you throat pastilles instead.

My mother told me never to take things from strangers. However, if a
comely wench offered me some throat candy, well...

I didn't talk - I wrote.

Yes, and you have indeed done much to reaffirm the principle that
silence is golden.

Do indigenous Americans speak differently from 'regular' Americans?

In this case, I used "indigenous" to mean "regular" Americans. Perhaps
this was confusing as "indigenous American" is often used synonymously
with "native American" meaning the kind of Indian that might say
something like "Kowabonga, Kimosabe, you got-um nice saddle there."
Nevertheless, I don't care, but to clarify one point, there is actually
no "regular American", anyway. Americans are as different as turds in
an outhouse, which may be one reason why they sometimes have trouble
communicating without creating a stink.

Ah, you were using the plural 'you', as in 'you women'.
Assuming I know what I'm talking about - how about you giving me some
pointers to make it not sound like said drivel?


Probably, but I'm not paying.

The Dutch are known for their frugality as well as their temperament.
However, excessive "economy" can lead to less positive qualities which
only augment the anti-social nature of the ilk. Who wants to hang
around a gilder-filcher with clackety foot gear?

Not.
http://cakili.image.pbase.com/image/41183780.jpg

If you viewed the movie, you will have noticed that the trouble didn't
start until a woman popped up (-excuse the term).

<g>
It does /not/ taste like that! (Well, I've never really tried
petroleum distillate, so I'm guessing)

Cognac is kept in oak barrels for up to 50 years. Minimum age is 2
years though.

When I was in Germany, we used to have cognac chug contests. This one
Indian guy, a Navajo I believe, did 8 rounds of 6 and still walked most
of the way back to the billet. -A truly incredible performance.

 

[Els]

[throat pastilles]

My mother told me never to take things from strangers. However, if a
comely wench offered me some throat candy, well...
Well?

I didn't talk - I wrote.

Yes, and you have indeed done much to reaffirm the principle that
silence is golden.

I like silver.

[English]

In this case, I used "indigenous" to mean "regular" Americans.

I did think that's what you meant, just couldn't be sure.

Perhaps
this was confusing as "indigenous American" is often used synonymously
with "native American" meaning the kind of Indian that might say
something like "Kowabonga, Kimosabe, you got-um nice saddle there."

Indeed. Since I don't know what they sound like, it got me wondering.

Nevertheless, I don't care, but to clarify one point, there is actually
no "regular American", anyway.

Couldn't think of a better word for 'non-native American' without
obfuscating the matter more.

Americans are as different as turds in
an outhouse, which may be one reason why they sometimes have trouble
communicating without creating a stink.
LOL


The Dutch are known for their frugality


as well as their temperament.

Never heard that one - sure you aren't mixing us up with the Spanish
or Italians?

However, excessive "economy" can lead to less positive qualities which
only augment the anti-social nature of the ilk. Who wants to hang
around a gilder-filcher with clackety foot gear?

I sure wouldn't. Luckily we don't have people like that in Holland.

If you viewed the movie, you will have noticed that the trouble didn't
start until a woman popped up (-excuse the term).

Actually, I didn't see the movie, but I'm thinking the woman wasn't
the cause of the trouble, even if it started on her arrival. It more
likely would be due to the men who couldn't handle being around a
woman.

When I was in Germany, we used to have cognac chug contests. This one
Indian guy, a Navajo I believe, did 8 rounds of 6 and still walked most
of the way back to the billet. -A truly incredible performance.

Sounds like it, indeed.

 

[Neredbojias]

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

[throat pastilles]

My mother told me never to take things from strangers. However, if a
comely wench offered me some throat candy, well...

Well?

A gentleman doesn't go beyond a certain point in mixed company. With
regards to speaking indiscretely, the nobility of my gentility precludes
the facility of my ability.

I like silver.

So does The Lone Ranger.

[English]

In this case, I used "indigenous" to mean "regular" Americans.

I did think that's what you meant, just couldn't be sure.

Good. People say I'm cryptic but I think they're just trying to be
indecipherable.

Indeed. Since I don't know what they sound like, it got me wondering.

Well, they sort of sound like they're constipated but ready to go.

Couldn't think of a better word for 'non-native American' without
obfuscating the matter more.

'Twas perfectly acceptable although obfuscation is to be expected in
male-female commerce.

Never heard that one - sure you aren't mixing us up with the Spanish
or Italians?

Well, possibly the Sicilians, but the absolutely worst gangsters of all
time were all named "Dutch".

I sure wouldn't. Luckily we don't have people like that in Holland.

I know, -they emigrated because of the noise.

Actually, I didn't see the movie, but I'm thinking the woman wasn't
the cause of the trouble, even if it started on her arrival. It more
likely would be due to the men who couldn't handle being around a
woman.

<Yawn> Yeah, it's always the man's fault... Da de da de da. The fact
is that men are usually the victims of a woman's wiles but they're too
nice to complain about it. (Of course, they probably don't want to get
cut off, either.)

 

[Els]

[throat pastilles]
My mother told me never to take things from strangers. However, if a
comely wench offered me some throat candy, well...

Well?

A gentleman doesn't go beyond a certain point in mixed company. With
regards to speaking indiscretely, the nobility of my gentility precludes
the facility of my ability.

As it should.
Or so I've been told.

I like silver.

So does The Lone Ranger.

[English]
Indeed, you speak it very much as would an indigenous American woman,

Do indigenous Americans speak differently from 'regular' Americans?

In this case, I used "indigenous" to mean "regular" Americans.

I did think that's what you meant, just couldn't be sure.

Good. People say I'm cryptic but I think they're just trying to be
indecipherable.

Nothing wrong with a bit of crypticism. If all words are meant exactly
like they're spoken/written, there's not much fun in communication.

Well, they sort of sound like they're constipated but ready to go.

LOL - now that you mention it, I remember that from movies. Very
accurante description. Must say though, that the only real native
American I ever met didn't speak like that at all.

'Twas perfectly acceptable although obfuscation is to be expected in
male-female commerce.

In male-female communication the issue is not so much with
obfuscation, but with deciphering whether the obfuscating is done with
reason (or ulterior motives even) or by accident i.e. ignorance.

[Dutch being known for their temperament]

Well, possibly the Sicilians, but the absolutely worst gangsters of all
time were all named "Dutch".

By whom?

I know, -they emigrated because of the noise.

Where did they go? Pennsylvania?

<Yawn>

Good night

Yeah, it's always the man's fault... Da de da de da. The fact
is that men are usually the victims of a woman's wiles

I'm inclined to generally agree with you on that, but..

but they're too nice to complain about it.

that's new to me.

(Of course, they probably don't want to get cut off, either.)

You mean that men would complain even more than they do already, if
only they had the guts?

 

[Neredbojias]

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

[throat pastilles]
My mother told me never to take things from strangers. However, if a
comely wench offered me some throat candy, well...

Well?

A gentleman doesn't go beyond a certain point in mixed company. With
regards to speaking indiscretely, the nobility of my gentility precludes
the facility of my ability.

As it should.

Yes, but only for gentlemen. A regular person doesn't give a crap.

Or so I've been told.

Men'll say anything.

[English]
Indeed, you speak it very much as would an indigenous American woman,

Do indigenous Americans speak differently from 'regular' Americans?

In this case, I used "indigenous" to mean "regular" Americans.

I did think that's what you meant, just couldn't be sure.

Good. People say I'm cryptic but I think they're just trying to be
indecipherable.

Nothing wrong with a bit of crypticism. If all words are meant exactly
like they're spoken/written, there's not much fun in communication.

Agreed. Furthermore, the world population would probably decline
drastically given the lack of the double-entendre.

LOL - now that you mention it, I remember that from movies. Very
accurante description. Must say though, that the only real native
American I ever met didn't speak like that at all.

Actually, most Injuns speak just like you or I. -Er, I, anyway. I
reside in Arizona where there are a lot of Navajos. Not one ever called
me "White Eyes" and the majority of them don't even mention my tongue.

In male-female communication the issue is not so much with
obfuscation, but with deciphering whether the obfuscating is done with
reason (or ulterior motives even) or by accident i.e. ignorance.

Also significant is the nature of said reason and whether or not the
results of the obfuscation necessitate the services of an obstetrician.

[Dutch being known for their temperament]

Well, possibly the Sicilians, but the absolutely worst gangsters of all
time were all named "Dutch".

By whom?

By their mothers, I suppose. Just think how much worse these guys would
have turned out had they been German.

Where did they go? Pennsylvania?

Well, since the nether lands were no longer available, the only other
logical choice was Australia, to which they gleefully sailed.
Unfortunately, due to the rotund nature of their overstuffed gastro-
intestinal regions, the Australians thought that they were a virulent
strain of some weird mutant marsupial and kicked them out. Eventually
they ended up in Africa sweltering on the veldt until someone realized
that going south there was like going north up over, and they finally
settled in a more reasonable, albeit strange, land they were going to
name "Holeland" but didn't.

Good night


I'm inclined to generally agree with you on that, but..

Is this an admission of guilt or an admission of callousness?

that's new to me.

Well, they start out nice but women ruin them.

You mean that men would complain even more than they do already, if
only they had the guts?

Men don't complain; they merely point out observed negatives in a
logical and concise manner. Furthermore, men ain't afraid of nothing.
They are the rulers of the world, lords of all the realms, and all
lesser things tremble in their wake *and* sleep.

If you don't buy that, I can show you plenty of men who have more gut
than you would wish to deal with.

 

[Els]

Yes, but only for gentlemen. A regular person doesn't give a crap.

That would be me.

Men'll say anything.

to get what they want.

Agreed. Furthermore, the world population would probably decline
drastically given the lack of the double-entendre.

There's that.

Actually, most Injuns speak just like you or I. -Er, I, anyway.

I was gonna say - accusing me of having an American accent?

I reside in Arizona where there are a lot of Navajos. Not one ever called
me "White Eyes" and the majority of them don't even mention my tongue.

What does the minority of them say about your tongue?

Also significant is the nature of said reason and whether or not the
results of the obfuscation necessitate the services of an obstetrician.

Yup, that's quite significant indeed. Before you know it you're in
Dutch. General female you that is, not /you/.

[Dutch being known for their temperament]

Never heard that one - sure you aren't mixing us up with the Spanish
or Italians?

Well, possibly the Sicilians, but the absolutely worst gangsters of all
time were all named "Dutch".

By whom?

By their mothers, I suppose.

Doubt it - Dutch isn't a Dutch name.

Just think how much worse these guys would
have turned out had they been German.

Erm.. yes. (?)

Well, since the nether lands were no longer available, the only other
logical choice was Australia, to which they gleefully sailed.
Unfortunately, due to the rotund nature of their overstuffed gastro-
intestinal regions, the Australians thought that they were a virulent
strain of some weird mutant marsupial and kicked them out. Eventually
they ended up in Africa sweltering on the veldt until someone realized
that going south there was like going north up over, and they finally
settled in a more reasonable, albeit strange, land they were going to
name "Holeland" but didn't.

If only I'd have had you as a history teacher when I was still in
school...

Is this an admission of guilt or an admission of callousness?

The latter of course. Guilt doesn't come into it, it's not my fault
I'm a woman.

Well, they start out nice but women ruin them.

We only honour the requests. Ever seen the face of a man who's just
been called 'nice' by a woman?

Men don't complain; they merely point out observed negatives in a
logical and concise manner.

I must have met the wrong men.

Furthermore, men ain't afraid of nothing.

Men are afraid of baby diapers, women's lingo, and commitments.
Unfortunately for men, these three things seem to go hand in hand
quite often. Ultimate fright.

They are the rulers of the world, lords of all the realms, and all
lesser things tremble in their wake *and* sleep.

If you don't buy that,

Indeed, too frugal to buy that.

I can show you plenty of men who have more gut
than you would wish to deal with.

Most people have - one reason I didn't become a surgeon.

 

[dorayme]

Men are afraid of baby diapers,

I have changed more nappies than you can poke a stick at and was
not the least bit frightened of them. In fact, I organised the
nappies in a military manner (let me spare you the details) that
made it easy. These days, folk seem to be going for
disposables... What a cop out!

(Honest, I have not been reading this thread, just took a quick
look at the latest and thought, hell, why not throw in a couple
of cents worth... considering the number of nappies I have
changed. Sort of a few words in remembrance, in... in honour of
them and the ... growing process... ah hell, now I am getting
all sentimental...)

dorayme

 

[Els]

I have changed more nappies than you can poke a stick at

That many huh?

and was not the least bit frightened of them.

You're a woman? ;-)

In fact, I organised the
nappies in a military manner (let me spare you the details) that
made it easy. These days, folk seem to be going for
disposables... What a cop out!

Guilty as charged.

(Honest, I have not been reading this thread, just took a quick
look at the latest and thought, hell, why not throw in a couple
of cents worth... considering the number of nappies I have
changed.

Just a note: the thread is built up from huge generalizations for
convenience's sake

Sort of a few words in remembrance, in... in honour of
them and the ... growing process... ah hell, now I am getting
all sentimental...)

<g>

 

[Neredbojias]

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

That would be me.

You mean you're not a gentleman?

to get what they want.

Of course. It's part of our chutzpah, our charisma, and our chinchilla-
like charm. Would you prefer us *not* to say anything to get what we
want?

There's that.


I was gonna say - accusing me of having an American accent?

Not with all those hard consonants. Y'all hafta drawl a little, like
you got phlegm in your gullet and it's used to being exercised.

What does the minority of them say about your tongue?

The usual. -Long, sharp, and very talented.

Yup, that's quite significant indeed. Before you know it you're in
Dutch. General female you that is, not /you/.

I'm not a woman, General or otherwise. However, if someone were to
offer me an 8- or 9-digit figure, I just might consider a surrogate
performance.

[Dutch being known for their temperament]
Never heard that one - sure you aren't mixing us up with the Spanish
or Italians?

Well, possibly the Sicilians, but the absolutely worst gangsters of all
time were all named "Dutch".

By whom?

By their mothers, I suppose.

Doubt it - Dutch isn't a Dutch name.

Just think how much worse these guys would
have turned out had they been German.

Erm.. yes. (?)

Just imagine a bunch of mobsters named "Dutch" being a bunch of mobsters
named "Germ". Argh, it gives my hemorrhoids goose bumps.

If only I'd have had you as a history teacher when I was still in
school...

....you probably would have been disciplined accordingly.

The latter of course. Guilt doesn't come into it, it's not my fault
I'm a woman.

-And it's a man's fault for trying to sow his seed as best he can?
Let's face it, both sexes are just victims of biological impulses beyond
their ability to mitigate so the best thing to do is to "go with the
flow" and be happy. As they say in Germany, "the wurst comes first."

We only honour the requests. Ever seen the face of a man who's just
been called 'nice' by a woman?

No, but I've seen some pretty nice asses on women who called me other
things to my face.

I must have met the wrong men.

It sounds like it. A good man knows how to tolerate a woman without
offending her, at least until the relationship is consummated.

Men are afraid of baby diapers, women's lingo, and commitments.
Unfortunately for men, these three things seem to go hand in hand
quite often. Ultimate fright.

Baby diapers are for diaper services, women's lingo is for women, and
commitments are for people who need to be institutionalized because
their brains malfunction too often.

Indeed, too frugal to buy that.


Most people have - one reason I didn't become a surgeon.

Yes. I didn't become a proctologist for a similar reason.

 

[Els]

You mean you're not a gentleman?

I thought you'd have figured that much by now...

Of course. It's part of our chutzpah, our charisma, and our chinchilla-
like charm. Would you prefer us *not* to say anything to get what we
want?

That's a trick question.

Not with all those hard consonants. Y'all hafta drawl a little, like
you got phlegm in your gullet and it's used to being exercised.

You're good at describing accents.

The usual. -Long, sharp, and very talented.

Got just the thing for you then:
http://locusmeus.com/misc/s.jpg

I'm not a woman, General or otherwise. However, if someone were to
offer me an 8- or 9-digit figure, I just might consider a surrogate
performance.

You said you had a price, but never knew it would be that steep!

[absolutely worst gangsters of all time were all named "Dutch"]

Just imagine a bunch of mobsters named "Dutch" being a bunch of mobsters
named "Germ". Argh, it gives my hemorrhoids goose bumps.

Okay, got it.

...you probably would have been disciplined accordingly.



-And it's a man's fault for trying to sow his seed as best he can?

Not really.

Let's face it, both sexes are just victims of biological impulses beyond
their ability to mitigate so the best thing to do is to "go with the
flow" and be happy. As they say in Germany, "the wurst comes first."

<g>
If you'd make that 'as they say in Holland', you wouldn't have had to
change the vowel

[men]

No, but I've seen some pretty nice asses on women who called me other
things to my face.

Your point being.. ?

It sounds like it. A good man knows how to tolerate a woman without
offending her, at least until the relationship is consummated.

Ah, I did meet the right men then. You hadn't stated the consummated
clause before.

Baby diapers are for diaper services, women's lingo is for women, and
commitments are for people who need to be institutionalized because
their brains malfunction too often.

Rationalized primal fears.

Yes. I didn't become a proctologist for a similar reason.

I can understand that. But what's your reason for not becoming a
gynaecologist?

 

[Neredbojias]

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

I thought you'd have figured that much by now...

I did, but when you said "That would be me,"...

Identity crisis?

That's a trick question.

No, a trick question is when you ask a hooker what her price is.

You're good at describing accents.

Thanks. I've always been rather interested in the abilities of the
throat.

Got just the thing for you then:
http://locusmeus.com/misc/s.jpg

I'm more of a beer-and-pork-rinds person when it comes to condiments.

You said you had a price, but never knew it would be that steep!

When you set your sights high, the climb may be steep but the conquest
on top is worth it.

[absolutely worst gangsters of all time were all named "Dutch"]

Just imagine a bunch of mobsters named "Dutch" being a bunch of mobsters
named "Germ". Argh, it gives my hemorrhoids goose bumps.

Okay, got it.

The prophet Mohammed is merciful and benevolent.

Not really.

Glad we agree. Men are the planters that plant the seeds, women are the
loam in which the seeds grow, and anything else is just so much
fertilizer.

<g>
If you'd make that 'as they say in Holland', you wouldn't have had to
change the vowel

"Wirst"? Unfortunately, when I was over in that neck of the woods, I
never got to visit Holland. Some of the boys went to Amsterdam, but
when they came back they didn't exactly talk about windmills and
dialects.

[men]

No, but I've seen some pretty nice asses on women who called me other
things to my face.

Your point being.. ?

It's better to be specific when you're calling something "nice". For
instance, if you eyeballed a man's muscles and told him he had a nice
bulge, his face would beam with delight.

Ah, I did meet the right men then. You hadn't stated the consummated
clause before.

Well, one should be non-offensive afterwards, too, of course. It's just
not as critical.

Rationalized primal fears.

Aversion or repugnance is not fear. I may avoid a glob of vomit on a
sizzling summer sidewalk, but I'm not afraid of it. (To be honest,
though, if I see maggots, my stomach churns a little.)

I can understand that. But what's your reason for not becoming a
gynaecologist?

Familiarity breeds contempt and I certainly didn't want to breed *that*
when I fooled around with gynecologisms.

 

[Els]

I did, but when you said "That would be me,"...

A regular person, that would be me.

Identity crisis?

Nah, life is fun enough without that.

No, a trick question is when you ask a hooker what her price is.

Different trick, different question.

I've always been rather interested in the abilities of the
throat.

Trying to learn Dutch should be the ultimate experiment for you.

I'm more of a beer-and-pork-rinds person when it comes to condiments.

I'll just have the pork rinds thanks, you can have the beer.

When you set your sights high, the climb may be steep but the conquest
on top is worth it.

Good point.
Although there's a limit to how steep that climb should be. It's a
fine line between a worthwhile conquest and none at all.

The prophet Mohammed is merciful and benevolent.

Was maybe. The guy's dead.

Glad we agree. Men are the planters that plant the seeds, women are the
loam in which the seeds grow, and anything else is just so much
fertilizer.

Anything else that helps, yes. There's plenty of de-fertilizer around
though. If I have to believe television and women's mags, a strong
de-fertilizer would be the wearing of white socks and loafers.

"Wirst"?

Bad, worse, wirst? What's that, American English?

Unfortunately, when I was over in that neck of the woods, I
never got to visit Holland. Some of the boys went to Amsterdam, but
when they came back they didn't exactly talk about windmills and
dialects.

I take it they were young and foolish at the time.

Next time you're in this part of the world, you should have a closer
look at Holland and skip Amsterdam altogether.
(and then maybe have Amsterdam for dessert)

[men]

Well, they start out nice but women ruin them.

We only honour the requests. Ever seen the face of a man who's just
been called 'nice' by a woman?

No, but I've seen some pretty nice asses on women who called me other
things to my face.

Your point being.. ?

It's better to be specific when you're calling something "nice".

I meant to call the man himself 'nice'. So far I haven't seen any men
who like that.

For
instance, if you eyeballed a man's muscles and told him he had a nice
bulge, his face would beam with delight.

Oh yes, that's true. Quite easy to compliment a man.

Well, one should be non-offensive afterwards, too, of course.

If only more men perceived that.

It's just not as critical.

That's where the man is wrong though. Presuming he would like the
woman to stay with him.

I may avoid a glob of vomit on a sizzling summer sidewalk, but I'm
not afraid of it.

Only cause you haven't seen 'The Blob'.

(To be honest,
though, if I see maggots, my stomach churns a little.)

Maggots should be banned from visibility. Nay, make that banned from
existence. All they do is turn into flies anyway.

Familiarity breeds contempt and I certainly didn't want to breed *that*
when I fooled around with gynecologisms.

Makes sense.

 

[Neredbojias]

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

Neredbojias wrote:
A regular person, that would be me.


Nah, life is fun enough without that.

One time I looked in a mirror and didn't recognize myself. After a
couple more beers, it dawned on me that the "mirror" was just the
portrait of Mr. Ed I have in my living room.

Different trick, different question.

Variety is the spice of life, but in both cases, the less talk, the
better.

Trying to learn Dutch should be the ultimate experiment for you.

How about this:

"Yeep glocken! Thoust feet-glumps maket da awful racket and t'smell
like stinky bottomland, toot!"

I'll just have the pork rinds thanks, you can have the beer.

Wow, most women I've met can't stand pork rinds. Not many like beer,
either, but they sure can souse up the pricey drinks.

Good point.
Although there's a limit to how steep that climb should be. It's a
fine line between a worthwhile conquest and none at all.

Quite true. I learned that one morning after apparently having climbed
upon 200 pounds of nefarious night-lifer.

Was maybe. The guy's dead.

Uh, that isn't exactly the spirit in which you are supposed to take a
benediction. Do you go to church every Sunday and say, "Amen, and good
riddance."?

Anything else that helps, yes. There's plenty of de-fertilizer around
though. If I have to believe television and women's mags, a strong
de-fertilizer would be the wearing of white socks and loafers.

Yes, but knee socks and patent-leathers would probably be worse.

Bad, worse, wirst? What's that, American English?

Oh, you meant "worst". Now I get it. Sort of.

I take it they were young and foolish at the time.

Men are only foolish when they start to take women seriously.

Next time you're in this part of the world, you should have a closer
look at Holland and skip Amsterdam altogether.

I agree. My best times in Germany were generally away from the bigger
cities and more in the small towns and burgs. I travelled around some
to non-famous places in-country and got to see what the land was
actually like.

(and then maybe have Amsterdam for dessert)

Mmm, don't think so. Sex arcades don't impress me.

[men]
Well, they start out nice but women ruin them.

We only honour the requests. Ever seen the face of a man who's just
been called 'nice' by a woman?

No, but I've seen some pretty nice asses on women who called me other
things to my face.

Your point being.. ?

It's better to be specific when you're calling something "nice".

I meant to call the man himself 'nice'. So far I haven't seen any men
who like that.

They likely interpret it as a lessening of their chances for a romp in
the hay. Next time look down a little and say "Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!"
and you'll probably get a more positive response.

Oh yes, that's true. Quite easy to compliment a man.

If it's so damn easy, how come women do it so damn rarely?

If only more men perceived that.


That's where the man is wrong though. Presuming he would like the
woman to stay with him.

From your own mouth doest the truth spew.

Only cause you haven't seen 'The Blob'.

Seen the original with Steve McQueen. Didn't scare me one bit. I even
munched on a booger when I got home to prove it.

Maggots should be banned from visibility. Nay, make that banned from
existence. All they do is turn into flies anyway.

But without flies, who would eat all the dog poop?

 

[Els]

One time I looked in a mirror and didn't recognize myself. After a
couple more beers, it dawned on me that the "mirror" was just the
portrait of Mr. Ed I have in my living room.
LOL!



How about this:

"Yeep glocken! Thoust feet-glumps maket da awful racket and t'smell
like stinky bottomland, toot!"

Not quite.

Although it does remind me of a series of Oranjeboom ads on the London
Underground. They don't seem to be documented anywhere online, or at
least I can't find any other info than just people on Usenet who, like
me, are trying to find them.
They were short sentences, made up from actual Dutch words, which only
made sense in English. Can't stand the fact I can't find them on the
web though, they were funny imo.

Wow, most women I've met can't stand pork rinds.

I don't see why, really, don't they eat bacon either then?
I tried to make them myself, but never got them as good as the ones
you get from the butcher's. No idea what I was doing wrong.

Not many like beer,
either, but they sure can souse up the pricey drinks.

I do like the pricey drinks, true - but cheap vodka will do just as
well. I learnt to drink it in Israel, where it was a lot cheaper than
beer.

Quite true. I learned that one morning after apparently having climbed
upon 200 pounds of nefarious night-lifer.

Sounds like a very good reason to limit the alcohol intake on a night
out.

Uh, that isn't exactly the spirit in which you are supposed to take a
benediction.

Huh?
Ah - was that why you said it! Sorry, missed that.

Do you go to church every Sunday

Mostly, yes.

and say, "Amen, and good riddance."?

Erm.. no?

Yes, but knee socks and patent-leathers would probably be worse.

No idea, never heard/read that - maybe those are so bad, that they
can't even be talked about.

Oh, you meant "worst". Now I get it. Sort of.

German wurst is Dutch worst.

Only I didn't intend that pun; trying again:

"worst" is Dutch for what the Germans call "wurst".

Men are only foolish when they start to take women seriously.

You're sure that isn't the other way round?

I agree. My best times in Germany were generally away from the bigger
cities and more in the small towns and burgs. I travelled around some
to non-famous places in-country and got to see what the land was
actually like.


Mmm, don't think so. Sex arcades don't impress me.

Amsterdam is more than just that. You don't think I would go to the
red light district when I go to Amsterdam, do you? I go to look at the
tourists, have a picknick in the park, enjoy the buskers' acts, browse
the markets, sometimes I go for concerts.. mostly for the atmosphere
though. Very different from other places in Holland.

They likely interpret it as a lessening of their chances for a romp in
the hay. Next time look down a little and say "Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!"
and you'll probably get a more positive response.

No kidding.

If it's so damn easy, how come women do it so damn rarely?

No idea. Maybe cause there is no accomplishment to be found in it.
It's just too easy to be satisfying.

From your own mouth doest the truth spew.

Not all men are like that. Some actually would like to be married for
life.

Seen the original with Steve McQueen.

I've seen neither version, and have no intention to watch it later
either.

Didn't scare me one bit. I even
munched on a booger when I got home to prove it.

I bet you did your best to ignore the semi-conscious idea of it
growing while you chewed it.

But without flies, who would eat all the dog poop?

I don't think we really need dogs either.

 

[Neredbojias]

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

Not quite.

Ohhh, I'm so disappointed.

Although it does remind me of a series of Oranjeboom ads on the London
Underground. They don't seem to be documented anywhere online, or at
least I can't find any other info than just people on Usenet who, like
me, are trying to find them.
They were short sentences, made up from actual Dutch words, which only
made sense in English. Can't stand the fact I can't find them on the
web though, they were funny imo.

Such as "I like corn flakes. I edam everyday."?

Or "The old codger had a windmill in his pants."?

Um, kinda juvenile.

I don't see why, really, don't they eat bacon either then?

Sometimes the man don't bring it home in time for the peak of their
appetite.

I tried to make them myself, but never got them as good as the ones
you get from the butcher's. No idea what I was doing wrong.

Over here we call 'em fried pork rinds and they come in a bag like
potato chips. They're light and crispy and definitely not procured from
a butcher (-unless the clerk is a serial killer, of course.)

I do like the pricey drinks, true - but cheap vodka will do just as
well. I learnt to drink it in Israel, where it was a lot cheaper than
beer.

We got something over here called "hootch" which is probably rather
equivalent. If you live, it's great.

Sounds like a very good reason to limit the alcohol intake on a night
out.

Not hardly. Now I just keep a scale in the trunk.

Huh?
Ah - was that why you said it! Sorry, missed that.

Yes, I'm really not in the habit of evoking Muslim salutations for a
spontaneous thrill.

No idea, never heard/read that - maybe those are so bad, that they
can't even be talked about.

Who usually wears knee socks and patent leather shoes? -Young girls.
If a man wore them...

German wurst is Dutch worst.

Only I didn't intend that pun; trying again:

"worst" is Dutch for what the Germans call "wurst"

Do you always manifest this much interest in the sausage field?

You're sure that isn't the other way round?

Okay, have it your way: "When they start to take women seriously is the
only time men are foolish."

Amsterdam is more than just that. You don't think I would go to the
red light district when I go to Amsterdam, do you?

Is this a trick question, too?

I go to look at the
tourists, have a picknick in the park, enjoy the buskers' acts, browse
the markets, sometimes I go for concerts.. mostly for the atmosphere
though. Very different from other places in Holland.

It sounds like you like to travel. I used to, but now I'm more of a
"home-body" type. And, personally, I get all the atmosphere I want in
the bathroom.

No kidding.

Seriously! -Aw, you're just trying to pull my leg.

No idea. Maybe cause there is no accomplishment to be found in it.
It's just too easy to be satisfying.

Yup, I getcha. 'Ran across a few women in my day just like that.

Not all men are like that. Some actually would like to be married for
life.

What on earth for? That's the same as saying "I like
liverwurst/worst/wirst and I'm not going to consume anything else for my
entire life." Wouldn't it be nice to have a pizza once in awhile, or
even a can of tuna?

I've seen neither version, and have no intention to watch it later
either.

Perhaps you suffer from globular blobophobic discombobulation.

I bet you did your best to ignore the semi-conscious idea of it
growing while you chewed it.

No problemo. That's something a man must always consider no matter what
he's doing.

I don't think we really need dogs either.

Oh, but we do! They provide good camouflage for those delightfully
fluidic nights I come home and don't quite make it into the house before
having to unload.

 

[Els]

Ohhh, I'm so disappointed.
Tough.


Such as "I like corn flakes. I edam everyday."?

Almost, except that that's only one Dutch word, and it results in
American English, while the ads were in English.

More like "Hou dus won drink Oranjeboom wit uit spil link half?"

Or "The old codger had a windmill in his pants."?

Um, kinda juvenile.

Kinda, yes.

Sometimes the man don't bring it home in time for the peak of their
appetite.

Those men aren't very smart. Should never let a woman wait.

Over here we call 'em fried pork rinds and they come in a bag like
potato chips. They're light and crispy and definitely not procured from
a butcher (-unless the clerk is a serial killer, of course.)

We get both - the ones in the chips bag, from the supermarket, and the
butcher's got them 'home made'.

We got something over here called "hootch" which is probably rather
equivalent. If you live, it's great.

I lived

Not hardly. Now I just keep a scale in the trunk.

If you can't tell without a scale, you're probably too drunk to use
one.

Who usually wears knee socks and patent leather shoes? -Young girls.
If a man wore them...
http://tinyurl.com/7n6nr


Do you always manifest this much interest in the sausage field?

Not always, no.

Okay, have it your way: "When they start to take women seriously is the
only time men are foolish."


Is this a trick question, too?

There are no trick questions outside the red light district.
Or at least, there shouldn't be.

It sounds like you like to travel.

True, but since I'm sort of house-bound by two small humanoids, I have
to fake travel by visiting Amsterdam or London.

I used to, but now I'm more of a
"home-body" type. And, personally, I get all the atmosphere I want in
the bathroom.

Reading atmosphere and bathroom in the same sentence gives me images
of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Bathrooms like that only exist on
TV afaik.

Seriously! -Aw, you're just trying to pull my leg.

Sorry, hope you didn't fall over?

What on earth for? That's the same as saying "I like
liverwurst/worst/wirst and I'm not going to consume anything else for my
entire life." Wouldn't it be nice to have a pizza once in awhile, or
even a can of tuna?

Marrying the right person gets you all that and more.

Perhaps you suffer from globular blobophobic discombobulation.

Sounds about right - except for the discombobulation. That still
sounds funny.

No problemo. That's something a man must always consider no matter what
he's doing.


Oh, but we do! They provide good camouflage for those delightfully
fluidic nights I come home and don't quite make it into the house before
having to unload.

You're not getting it - you don't need 'delightfully fluidic nights'
that urge you to 'unload' either. Really, there is no need

 

[Neredbojias]

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

Tough.

You are so compassionate.

Almost, except that that's only one Dutch word, and it results in
American English, while the ads were in English.

More like "Hou dus won drink Oranjeboom wit uit spil link half?"

Hole d'jour knows?

Kinda, yes.


Those men aren't very smart. Should never let a woman wait.

That's what I keep telling my girlfriend but she doesn't see the light.

We get both - the ones in the chips bag, from the supermarket, and the
butcher's got them 'home made'.

I never even knew there was "home made" pork rinds. I'll bet they're
better, too.

I lived

Well, you can also wish you didn't...

If you can't tell without a scale, you're probably too drunk to use
one.

Um, good point. Maybe I'll have a new door installed on my flat with
the "max-width" option.

http://tinyurl.com/7n6nr

You realize that that's why the Scots lost all their wars. -They were
definitely under-armored in the most vulnerable places. At least the
boys had a nut-guard, although this was probably just a decoration to
distinguish them from the girls.

There are no trick questions outside the red light district.
Or at least, there shouldn't be.

Well it'd be a bit rude to walk up to a wee fair lassie and say, "What's
under my kilt is as hard as a stilt." Hyperbola is often the correct
course of action when doing your wooing.

True, but since I'm sort of house-bound by two small humanoids, I have
to fake travel by visiting Amsterdam or London.

Heck, I now consider "travelling" hopping on a shopping cart to ride the
downhill trail to my car parked at the supermarket.

Reading atmosphere and bathroom in the same sentence gives me images
of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Bathrooms like that only exist on
TV afaik.

Men don't really much notice the decor in such places. If it's got
something porcelain, you just sort of aim at it and proceed on from
there.

Sorry, hope you didn't fall over?

Still afoot, but the panic lingers.

Marrying the right person gets you all that and more.

Exactly. -Stew. A man needs a discrete snack every now and then just
to keep the appetite perky.

You're not getting it - you don't need 'delightfully fluidic nights'
that urge you to 'unload' either. Really, there is no need

And what would be a suitable alternative? -Dinner at Francois's?
Whenever I'm faced with such "delicate" questions, I ask myself "Now
what would my Cro-Magnon ancestors recommend?" They always respond by
saying you need only 3 things in life for success: a cave to shelter
your mortal bones, a fire to warm your basic scones, and a good club.
Ergo, I go clubbing.