In this above I hear the voice of someone badly disappointed seeking an
apology and excuse for being in that condition in the world around and
not inside himself.
My guess from the experience of being, as Usenet newbie, first a victim
of Xah trolls and from the experience of watching Xah activities over
currently more than one year, is that:
The turning point, when one could start to be like Xah is, when
suddenly for oneself some simple truths which has not been recognized
for so long before, get revealed before the inner mental eye.
One finds himself in a situation where own past stupidity becomes so
apparent, that it is hard to accept this fact as it is. The ways to
manage such condition can be very different. One of the possibilities is
to look for the 'outside' reasons and make them responsible for the
misery. There was, is and will be always enough idiocy around, disguised
as by many people fully accepted absolute truths, which can be made
guilty of keeping a believing them individual relatively stupid for a
very long time (or even forever).
The revelation of the simply fact, that one was 'cheated' for so long by
from the just achieved point of view as impertinent insulting and
stupid considered authorities without being able to see it directly
already in the past, hurts so much, that it results in strong emotional
reaction manifestating itself often also in using many dirty words. It
almost appears in this context, that the past ignorance could be
considered a blessing ...
After the first caused by the above effect deep depressions has been
overcome, it can happen, that one starts to hope to manage the misery by
getting in touch with others to share the just reached level of
enlightenment in order to progress towards getting rid of eventually
still existing remaining wrong believes.
The result of this approach can be the experience, that there is as good
as none to oneself meaningful response and instead of being understood
one is accused of trolling.
At that point two aspects important in someones life can start to
compete against each other:
the accumulated experience and insight, that it makes not much sense
to ask the most important to oneself questions publicly
and
the need for staying in active relationship and mental exchange with
others.
The outcome of such battle can be, that the only way out of this dilemma
is to actually start to troll to get some fun out of the responses and
to get the feeling of having impact on others.
There are sure many other ways to manage the situation of becoming
smarter than before and of staying in contact with many others - Xah has
chosen to become a troll as one of the most easy variant out of them. I
hope, that one day, he stops to misjudge own level of enlightenment and
starts to gain satisfaction out of searching for an also for another
people valuable way out of the misery his intellect is trapped in
instead of continuing his mostly trolling motivated postings.
By the way: I found _this_ posting by Xah very interesting and even if
maybe not at first glance noticeable, very close related to what is all
the time and continuously hot discussed in the programming related
newsgroups.
I don't expect Xah to read and reply to this posting, but in spite of
this, I would be glad to hear from him here, how my guess is close to
his actual motivation.
Sure it would be very interesting to see the bets and the reasoning
behind the pro and contra.
Claudio
