Article about Herb Schildt accepted at comp.risks

[BruceS]

[snip usual festering effluvium]

'Round and 'round and 'round he goes
Backing Schildt is all he knows
Bye bye Nilges

Spewing insults snide and vile
Interlaced with Marxist bile
Bye bye Nilges

No one here attends to what you're saying
They just hear a small sad jackass braying
Can't get past your hate for C
Poor pathetic wannabe
Nilges, bye bye

You've done it now. He's going to complain that (1) your work is
derivative and therefore inferior to his; and (2) the derivation
implies rampant racism on your part. At first the source eluded me,
right at the edge of memory, but then I remembered GIYF and had the
obvious answer. LQTM.

 

[spinoza1111]

news:6bd6d2d2-b8cb-4c16-8a55-646a5a57b203@j12g2000pri.googlegroups.com....

[snip usual festering effluvium]

'Round and 'round and 'round he goes
Backing Schildt is all he knows
Bye bye Nilges

Spewing insults snide and vile
Interlaced with Marxist bile
Bye bye Nilges

No one here attends to what you're saying
They just hear a small sad jackass braying
Can't get past your hate for C
Poor pathetic wannabe
Nilges, bye bye

You've done it now.  He's going to complain that (1) your work is
derivative and therefore inferior to his; and (2) the derivation
implies rampant racism on your part.  At first the source eluded me,
right at the edge of memory, but then I remembered GIYF and had the
obvious answer.  LQTM.

That ain't my complaint
Although the work is inferior:
What doth it attaint
Is...it hath no metre.

No metre at all, the work of a child
Who can't even find a decent rhyme
It's not free verse, it is tame and not wild
Read it aloud if you have the time.

You'll see hopefully that it stumbles
It limps and it crawls
It's just a series of psychotic mumbles
The work of an infant who whines and who bawls.

Even as, ass, we find no craft
In the C code posted here
This poet *maudit* is worse than daft
If he thinks his poem is aught but queer.

It's totally without vocabulary
The work of a subliterate thug
Filled with self-hatred, a hysterical history
Of a dog who pisses on a fireplug.

In fine, and to sum it up
Poetry isn't rock and roll
In music metric misery is covered up
With sound: here, the fault's obvious...to all.

And because as poetry this is misery
What comes through is a Fascist's hate
A Hitler, a reject, an art school flunkee-outee
Who oughta be locked up by county and state.

Learn you this lesson: don't even try
To compete with me:
You haven't the ability.

 

[BruceS]

[snip usual festering effluvium]
'Round and 'round and 'round he goes
Backing Schildt is all he knows
Bye bye Nilges
Spewing insults snide and vile
Interlaced with Marxist bile
Bye bye Nilges
No one here attends to what you're saying
They just hear a small sad jackass braying
Can't get past your hate for C
Poor pathetic wannabe
Nilges, bye bye

You've done it now.  He's going to complain that (1) your work is
derivative and therefore inferior to his; and (2) the derivation
implies rampant racism on your part.  At first the source eluded me,
right at the edge of memory, but then I remembered GIYF and had the
obvious answer.  LQTM.

That ain't my complaint
Although the work is inferior:
What doth it attaint
Is...it hath no metre.

It appears that you missed the reference that I noticed but had to
look up. It scans fine when you know what you're looking for. GIYF.
HTH.

 

[Bruce C. Baker]

[ka-snip]

It appears that you missed the reference that I noticed but had to
look up. It scans fine when you know what you're looking for. GIYF.
HTH.

Ed and I are approximately the same age, which means the song was
published twenty-something years before we were born. Even so, it's not that
unknown, even today. In fact, just reading the lyrics, even parody lyrics,
almost automatically starts the melody playing, at least in MY head! The
fact that the cultural reference seems to have zoomed right over Ed's head
makes his clueless reply all the sweeter.

Sadly, since my ISP is reportedly dropping NGs sometime this summer, it
probably is "bye bye" to not just Ed , but c.l.c et al. I do have a link to
news.eternal-september.org; not sure how long that will last. The Google
interface is not even worth consideration.

Ed: "bye bye Nilges"--cudgel thy brains! :-D Or, as BruceS says, GIYF!

 

[Tim Streater]

Sadly, since my ISP is reportedly dropping NGs sometime this summer, it
probably is "bye bye" to not just Ed , but c.l.c et al. I do have a link to
news.eternal-september.org; not sure how long that will last. The Google
interface is not even worth consideration.

You could try www.individual.net. Only ¤10/year, which is what, about $7
these days? Many of us on uk.comp.sys.mac use that.

 

[Keith Thompson]

Sadly, since my ISP is reportedly dropping NGs sometime this summer, it
probably is "bye bye" to not just Ed , but c.l.c et al. I do have a link to
news.eternal-september.org; not sure how long that will last. The Google
interface is not even worth consideration.

I've been using news.eternal-september.org for quite a while. It's
reasonably reliable, thought not 100%.

 

[Bruce C. Baker]

[snip]

You could try www.individual.net. Only ¤10/year, which is what, about $7
these days? Many of us on uk.comp.sys.mac use that.

More like $15/yr, if I have the exchange rate right. It's not so much a
matter of money as the fact that of the five NGs I regularly subscribe to,
three are Microsoft and are in the process of being terminated along with
the rest of the MS NGs, one is available via a blog and/or RSS feed, and the
fifth is all but abandoned.

Nevertheless, thanks for the suggestion.

 

[spinoza1111]

[snip usual festering effluvium]
'Round and 'round and 'round he goes
Backing Schildt is all he knows
Bye bye Nilges
Spewing insults snide and vile
Interlaced with Marxist bile
Bye bye Nilges
No one here attends to what you're saying
They just hear a small sad jackass braying
Can't get past your hate for C
Poor pathetic wannabe
Nilges, bye bye
You've done it now.  He's going to complain that (1) your work is
derivative and therefore inferior to his; and (2) the derivation
implies rampant racism on your part.  At first the source eluded me,
right at the edge of memory, but then I remembered GIYF and had the
obvious answer.  LQTM.

That ain't my complaint
Although the work is inferior:
What doth it attaint
Is...it hath no metre.

It appears that you missed the reference that I noticed but had to
look up.  It scans fine when you know what you're looking for.  GIYF.
HTH.

No, I'm sorry, but it doesn't scan
You would know this were you an intelligent man
But of course you're not, you're but a sot
So let me see if I can show you the plan.

"Bye bye Nilges" doesn't scan in any way
And it doesn't fit the lines before
It makes your "poem" the song of a whore
That doesn't say what you want it to say.

In your Pop subconscious, that pile of trash
You see, there's a song by Ann-Margret
It's called "bye bye birdie" I'd hasard, I'd bet
And into your ode it did you smash

Creating the song of a vicious child
Wetting and soiling his pants with hate
Uncouth, savage, without culture but not wild
Rather one that's a ward of the state.

 

[spinoza1111]

[snip usual festering effluvium]
'Round and 'round and 'round he goes
Backing Schildt is all he knows
Bye bye Nilges
Spewing insults snide and vile
Interlaced with Marxist bile
Bye bye Nilges
No one here attends to what you're saying
They just hear a small sad jackass braying
Can't get past your hate for C
Poor pathetic wannabe
Nilges, bye bye
You've done it now.  He's going to complain that (1) your work is
derivative and therefore inferior to his; and (2) the derivation
implies rampant racism on your part.  At first the source eluded me,
right at the edge of memory, but then I remembered GIYF and had the
obvious answer.  LQTM.

That ain't my complaint
Although the work is inferior:
What doth it attaint
Is...it hath no metre.

It appears that you missed the reference that I noticed but had to
look up.  It scans fine when you know what you're looking for.  GIYF.
HTH.

Seriously, if you want to compete with me
In C coding or in poetry
First go and get an education
Cease else your flow: this menstruation.

Major in computer science,
Not psychology, history or in sheer defiance
Of teachers who you hate and hound
Because your learning, it's unsound.

Now, as to poetry.
The Norton Anthology
Which you need to get
Defines it as "writing meant to be read":
Words on paper meant to be said.

Not crooned like an anthem of rock and roll
And that's why your poem it blows
The only way to make it sound any good at all
Is to sing the chorus through your nose.

Another book you need to crack
Is John Lennard's "The Poet's Handbook", Jack.
Companion to the Norton tome
From it you might learn, you gnome
How to do as they do in Rome.

But I won't hang by my thumbs
And I will not wait on tenterhooks
You and your foolish, clueless chums
Don't actually read such things...as books.

Instead you attack authors on Amazon
Like the vicious children that you are
Gang bang rapists you climb upon
The victim to sodomize behind your mental prison bar.

 

[Bruce C. Baker]

[snipparooney]

"Bye bye Nilges" doesn't scan in any way
And it doesn't fit the lines before
It makes your "poem" the song of a whore
That doesn't say what you want it to say.

"... the song of a whore": Oh, Eddie, you are sooooo close!

Bye bye--/what/?

Avian reference, check. Two syllables, check. Birdie--bzzzt!

C'mon, Ed! Marshall those gray cells! You're gonna kick yourself when you
find out how close you are!

Bruce C. Baker (Not to be confused with BruceS)

 

[spinoza1111]

[snipparooney]

"Bye bye Nilges" doesn't scan in any way
And it doesn't fit the lines before
It makes your "poem" the song of a whore
That doesn't say what you want it to say.

"... the song of a whore": Oh, Eddie, you are sooooo close!

Bye bye--/what/?

Avian reference, check. Two syllables, check. Birdie--bzzzt!

C'mon, Ed! Marshall those gray cells!  You're gonna kick yourself when you
find out how close you are!

Sorry, Brucie, you've lost the game
You took an hour for your attempt
And unless set to musick bad, it's lame
Whereas I in minutes you pre-empt.

You see, the rules are clear
You have to reply in verse
But you've shot your bolt, my dear
And your prose...well, it is worse.

Your single poem probably took you hours
With an online rhyming dictionary
Whereas I sit down and write these flowers
Of verse quite fast, almost...instantaneously.

You're the Peter Seebach of the poet's trade
He's incompetent in C and you, as bard
He worked two months, and of queue.c a mess he made
You labour for an hour and come up with lard.

And every time you post, you are made by me toast
I squash you flat with metre
Meet and fit to subject neat, and this, I'd boast
Is because I ain't you nor Peter.

Geek, lard butt, clueless turd
Give it up, in a word.
You don't know your trade and you don't know grammar
You've been beaned upon the head with my hammer.

 

[spinoza1111]

[ka-snip]

It appears that you missed the reference that I noticed but had to
look up.  It scans fine when you know what you're looking for.  GIYF.
HTH.

Ed and I are approximately the same age, which means the song was
published twenty-something years before we were born. Even so, it's not that
unknown, even today. In fact, just reading the lyrics, even parody lyrics,
almost automatically starts the melody playing, at least in MY head! The
fact that the cultural reference seems to have zoomed right over Ed's head
makes his clueless reply all the sweeter.

**** you, asshole. You meant to reply in verse to show you could do
it, and all that you could dredge up was a popular song.

In verse extempore:

**** you, asshole
You're head's up a hole
Filled with trivial junk.
You're a punk,
And if you have a problem with it
You're welcome to pay me a visit.

 

[spinoza1111]

news:6dd832ed-0af0-4bb5-aac6-ffa77f0754b0@c11g2000vbe.googlegroups.com....

[ka-snip]

It appears that you missed the reference that I noticed but had to
look up.  It scans fine when you know what you're looking for.  GIYF.
HTH.

Ed and I are approximately the same age, which means the song was
published twenty-something years before we were born. Even so, it's not that
unknown, even today. In fact, just reading the lyrics, even parody lyrics,
almost automatically starts the melody playing, at least in MY head! The
fact that the cultural reference seems to have zoomed right over Ed's head
makes his clueless reply all the sweeter.

**** you, asshole. You meant to reply in verse to show you could do
it, and all that you could dredge up was a popular song.

In verse extempore:

**** you, asshole
You're head's up a hole
Filled with trivial junk.
You're a punk,
And if you have a problem with it
You're welcome to pay me a visit.

Sadly, since my ISP is reportedly dropping NGs sometime this summer, it
probably is "bye bye" to not just Ed , but c.l.c et al. I do have a link to
news.eternal-september.org; not sure how long that will last.  The Google
interface is not even worth consideration.

Ed: "bye bye Nilges"--cudgel thy brains! :-D Or, as BruceS says, GIYF!

It's a pity that I have to be the North Korea of this ng, and nuke all
comers. It could have been avoided had Peter Seebach simply replied to
my email request of last Jan that he discuss the Schildt issue
offline, and spare everyone else this mess.

But jerks like him are afraid of other people and prefer to get their
way by backstabbing.

I have written to Paul Manning at Springer, which now owns Apress, and
asked him to try to persuade Peter to meet with me, perhaps by way of
a Skype video conference, to discuss the matter of Schildt.

But it seems that in Peter Seebach I am dealing with a very troubling
individual. I don't make psychological diagnoses, and stick to the
facts. The facts are that with neither academic qualifications nor
demonstrated programming competence, Peter Seebach speaks outside his
professional competence in re Schildt and this is a very serious legal
matter. Seebach is complicating it by libeling me.

 

[Bruce C. Baker]

[snipparooney]

"Bye bye Nilges" doesn't scan in any way
And it doesn't fit the lines before
It makes your "poem" the song of a whore
That doesn't say what you want it to say.

"... the song of a whore": Oh, Eddie, you are sooooo close!

Bye bye--/what/?

Avian reference, check. Two syllables, check. Birdie--bzzzt!

C'mon, Ed! Marshall those gray cells! You're gonna kick yourself when
you
find out how close you are!

Sorry, Brucie, you've lost the game
You took an hour for your attempt
And unless set to musick bad, it's lame
Whereas I in minutes you pre-empt.

You see, the rules are clear
You have to reply in verse
But you've shot your bolt, my dear
And your prose...well, it is worse.

Your single poem probably took you hours
With an online rhyming dictionary
Whereas I sit down and write these flowers
Of verse quite fast, almost...instantaneously.

You're the Peter Seebach of the poet's trade
He's incompetent in C and you, as bard
He worked two months, and of queue.c a mess he made
You labour for an hour and come up with lard.

And every time you post, you are made by me toast
I squash you flat with metre
Meet and fit to subject neat, and this, I'd boast
Is because I ain't you nor Peter.

Geek, lard butt, clueless turd
Give it up, in a word.
You don't know your trade and you don't know grammar
You've been beaned upon the head with my hammer.

All that creativity expended, and you STILL haven't named that tune!

Pack up all your cares and woe, Edster.

 

[spinoza1111]

[snipparooney]
"Bye bye Nilges" doesn't scan in any way
And it doesn't fit the lines before
It makes your "poem" the song of a whore
That doesn't say what you want it to say.
"... the song of a whore": Oh, Eddie, you are sooooo close!
Bye bye--/what/?
Avian reference, check. Two syllables, check. Birdie--bzzzt!
C'mon, Ed! Marshall those gray cells!  You're gonna kick yourself when
you
find out how close you are!

Sorry, Brucie, you've lost the game
You took an hour for your attempt
And unless set to musick bad, it's lame
Whereas I in minutes you pre-empt.

You see, the rules are clear
You have to reply in verse
But you've shot your bolt, my dear
And your prose...well, it is worse.

Your single poem probably took you hours
With an online rhyming dictionary
Whereas I sit down and write these flowers
Of verse quite fast, almost...instantaneously.

You're the Peter Seebach of the poet's trade
He's incompetent in C and you, as bard
He worked two months, and of queue.c a mess he made
You labour for an hour and come up with lard.

And every time you post, you are made by me toast
I squash you flat with metre
Meet and fit to subject neat, and this, I'd boast
Is because I ain't you nor Peter.

Geek, lard butt, clueless turd
Give it up, in a word.
You don't know your trade and you don't know grammar
You've been beaned upon the head with my hammer.

All that creativity expended, and you STILL haven't named that tune!

You missed where I did so, Dumbo
Your ignorance it is supersize: it's jumbo
I said it was "bye bye birdie" already
And you missed it, lard butt, and my name ain't Eddie.

 

[Tim Streater]

[snip]

You could try www.individual.net. Only ¤10/year, which is what, about $7
these days? Many of us on uk.comp.sys.mac use that.

More like $15/yr, if I have the exchange rate right.

Yes, my mistake. I'm not following the exchange rates properly these
days.

It's not so much a
matter of money as the fact that of the five NGs I regularly subscribe to,
three are Microsoft and are in the process of being terminated along with
the rest of the MS NGs, one is available via a blog and/or RSS feed, and the
fifth is all but abandoned.

Nevertheless, thanks for the suggestion.

You're welcome. Shame to see you go.

 

[Bruce C. Baker]

[el snippo]

You missed where I did so, Dumbo
Your ignorance it is supersize: it's jumbo
I said it was "bye bye birdie" already
And you missed it, lard butt, and my name ain't Eddie.

And not only did you miss where I explicitly told you that it WASN'T "bye
bye birdie", you snipped the neon-flashing hint that I gave you! GIYF!

Name that tune correctly, Eduardito, or admit defeat.

 

[spinoza1111]

[el snippo]

You missed where I did so, Dumbo
Your ignorance it is supersize: it's jumbo
I said it was "bye bye birdie" already
And you missed it, lard butt, and my name ain't Eddie.

And not only did you miss where I explicitly told you that it WASN'T "bye
bye birdie", you snipped the neon-flashing hint that I gave you! GIYF!

Name that tune correctly, Eduardito, or admit defeat.

That's not a game I care to play
You've shown us that you can't write verse worth dick
And to cover up the failure of your little display
You've made this a game show: a stupid trick.

But I've left the game show long ago
Working in stinking little programming shops
With stunted "men" who ho
Their stunted skilz by drips and drops.

They cannot even bother to take a class
Computer science makes them into an ass
So they major in psychology
To avoid getting a B, or C, or D

 

[spinoza1111]

[snip]

You could trywww.individual.net. Only ¤10/year, which is what, about $7
these days? Many of us on uk.comp.sys.mac use that.

More like $15/yr, if I have the exchange rate right.

Yes, my mistake. I'm not following the exchange rates properly these
days.

It's not so much a
matter of money as the fact that of the five NGs I regularly subscribe to,
three are Microsoft and are in the process of being terminated along with
the rest of the MS NGs, one is available via a blog and/or RSS feed, and the
fifth is all but abandoned.

Nevertheless, thanks for the suggestion.

You're welcome. Shame to see you go.

But he doesn't go...does he
He's first got to prove his "masculinity"
By trying and failing...to silence me.
He'll be here awhile...he'll be here forever and a day
Just to still his secret fear that he's queer, and homo, and gay.

 

[Rob Kendrick]

That's not a game I care to play
You've shown us that you can't write verse worth dick
And to cover up the failure of your little display
You've made this a game show: a stupid trick.

Douglas Adams was wrong; there are at least two producers of "poetry"
worse than the Bogons.

B.