(Sorry, folks, but this is just too much.)
Don't wrestle with a [insult deleted]. [insult deleted]
Oh my. *shuffle shuffle*. Ah, ok then. I already had you down as
"naughty" this year.
It would have been quite a problem if not. You see, this close to when
the big delivery ships, everything's mostly already packed up and
ready to go, in giant warehouses beneath the ice. Finding your
goodies, removing them, and replacing them with lumps of coal would
have been quite a bothersome extra task, and when the schedule is
already rather tight due to bad weather and several other
difficulties.
I'm glad to see that that won't be a problem after all; I already have
you put down here as having six lumps of coal, in storage area 37,
scheduled for delivery at 03:17 your local time on the big night, by
clone #317 (what, you didn't really think there was only *one* of me,
with *that* much work to be done?) flying route 8 (north-central
States, east to north-central Europe, south to the Mediterranean, into
the middle east -- which is why we call it the coal car express -- and
off to India and Pakistan -- lots more coal there, and several routes
converge there because the population is so darn high -- maybe this
time one of me will manage to find bin Laden in Pakistan; he has
several years of back coal due, almost a whole metric ton of the
stuff, and it's taking up an awful lot of space in storage area 18).
Oh, and by the way, none of the nasty things that you have said or
implied about me are at all true.