[OT] The Deathstation

Discussion in 'C Programming' started by Christopher Benson-Manica, Jan 30, 2004.

  1. Christopher Benson-Manica, Jan 30, 2004
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  2. Christopher Benson-Manica

    Lew Pitcher Guest

    It is interesting that one photo (presumably of the DeathStation itself)
    shows the IBM logo, and bares a close resemblance to an IBM 360/30 that I
    once worked on. <vbg>
    Lew Pitcher, Jan 30, 2004
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  3. LOL! It was new to me, thanks!
    Kevin P. Fleming, Jan 30, 2004
  4. Christopher Benson-Manica

    Hong Ooi Guest

    This bit cracks me up:

    No modern computer system is complete without software. Whilst we provide a
    number of off-the-shelf weapons control applications, we appreciate that
    our clients will wish to customise their purchases with in-house software.

    Unstable binaries could cause our weapons control systems to have a
    potentially negative impact on the environment. We take our
    responsibilities very seriously, and ensure that each system is supplied
    with a compiler which fully supports the ANSI/ISO C Standard. Our compiler
    of choice is the Z15 Operations Group compiler, ZOG C.

    ZOG C is shipped free with every ART system sold. It's a fully compliant
    ANSI C compiler, its performance is excellent (in terms of both compilation
    speed and - literally - execution speed), and it comes complete with a set
    of libraries specifically tailored for our industry. For example:

    .. CONIO Computer-Operated Nuclear Installation Options
    .. SOCKETS Secure Operations Cluster-Kill Extended Targeting Solutions
    .. DOS Denial Of Service
    .. NCURSES Nuclear Component Unit Realignment/Systems Extension Solutions

    and many many more.

    Regrettably, some other compiler vendors use similarly-named extensions for
    supposedly mission-critical functionality such as networking, clearing
    display devices, and other non-portable paradigms. It is therefore
    recommended that you only allow programmers to work on our systems if they
    are experienced in writing portable, ANSI-compliant C code. It would be
    unfortunate if any more lives were lost simply because some programmers
    feel a deep spiritual need to obliterate the display device, and much much
    more, using ZOG C's Commence Launch (Remote Systems Console Request)
    function, clrscr() (see bloopers).

    Hong "unfortunately, they misspelled Kaz's name" Ooi
    Hong Ooi, Jan 30, 2004
  5. Christopher Benson-Manica

    Randy Howard Guest

    I seem to recall this being Richard Heathfield's creation, from
    some dusty memory cells. ??
    Randy Howard, Jan 30, 2004
  6. I confess.

    All the images on that site were culled from the Net in a pleasantly
    plagiaristic hour or so about four years ago. I don't specifically remember
    searching for IBM, but I do recall wondering what the NSA and GCHQ would
    make of my other search patterns, such as "tank", "missile", "nuclear
    explosion", and "Igor". :)

    Incidentally, there's a tiny steganographically hidden message on the site,
    which AFAICR nobody has yet spotted (even though the word "steganography"
    probably does it too much honour).
    Richard Heathfield, Jan 30, 2004
  7. And Bryan Williams - a very good C programmer, by the way.

    Bryan did the frames stuff and messed around with the pics and what ARTwork
    there is, whilst I provided probably 80-90% of the text.

    Matthew Baker found lots of Igor pics, of which I think we definitely picked
    the best.

    (BTW Hong Ooi is quite right - I misspelt Kaz Kylheku's name. Oops. Sorry,
    Richard Heathfield, Jan 30, 2004
  8. I suspect it will take a just over couple of months before anyone
    works it out.
    Mark McIntyre, Jan 31, 2004
  9. Be serious, you really shouldn't joking around all the year long.

    Holger Hasselbach, Jan 31, 2004
  10. Christopher Benson-Manica

    Ben Pfaff Guest

    I think you're looking for "sci.crypt" for this part of your
    article :)
    Ben Pfaff, Jan 31, 2004
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